Enrico Claassen
Their respective worlds were turned upside down after their husbands passed on. It crushed them and left them shattered and devastated.
But these 11 brave women decided not to just roll over and play dead.
Instead, they took a conscious decision to pull themselves together and start to live again.
Their heartfelt stories and how they managed to rise again and look life square in the eye is documented in the book Echoes of Love which was launched on 6 December at Southpoint Studios in Pinelands.
According to one of the widows Lezelle Scholtz, Echoes of Love contains stories about how 11 brave women opened their hearts to share honestly and yet courageously about how grief broke them, how they had to pick up the pieces and be intentional about living with purpose again.
“It’s about celebrating their grit and grace as they navigated their new normal.”
Scholtz says the book intends to be a lifeline or helpline of hope for any other widow or individual going through a season of loss.
According to her it was her idea to write the book. “From my own experience of becoming a widow, I saw the need for a community where like-minded women can support each other in their journeys of grief and healing. I published my first book Grieving You, Finding Me five years after my husband passed on.
“This then allowed me to connect with other widows, and I soon realised that there are many widows who don’t have the emotional support needed. I could relate and hence I started the community.
“When I heard the other stories, each unique, heart-breaking but also inspiring as they were deliberate about moving forward and finding healing, the thought came to me that we must share our stories and help other widows to find hope and purpose again.”
Ten women responded
According to Scholtz she put out the call and ten women responded as they too saw that this is part of their own healing journey and a way to reach out to others going through the same experience.
This is what the widows want to bring across through Echoes of Love.
Esmarelda van As (60) from Strandfontein Village: “I would like to achieve healing and peace from my story.”
Mavis Martin, 63 from Northpine: “Grieving is painfull but can be a time of rediscovery of life. It has no timetable. We all grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way.”
Lezelle Scholtz (54) from Kenilworth: “I wanted ‘ordinary’ women who are moms, grandmothers, working women to tell their stories honestly and courageously while giving another widow hope and tools for navigating her season of grief and finding meaning in life again. I want to empower women / widows with skills to face life again.”
Hazel Perumal (54) from Tongaat, KwaZulu- Natal: “If my journey helps even one person believe they can survive this season, then it matters because broken pieces can still shine.”
Freda Douman (57) from Grassy Park: “This journey empowered me to share my hope and what I overcame through the loss of my husband.”
Rhonda Savage-Julie (67) from Durbanville: “My message in the book is to give the readers hope in the wake of the devastation of love, loss and grief. Gentle reader please know that you are not alone. There is a level of grace in trauma, sadness and heartache. May this book and every chapter bring healing and restoration. Here is a community of resilience who stands testament of the all-consuming love of God.”
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Moira Colbie (58) from Springbok, Namaqualand: “Even in the darkest moments there is hope. Hold on to it and know you are stronger than you think. Find purpose in your pain. Life may break you, but it is in those broken places that we discover our strength and resilience.”
Rhoda Perez (50) from Pinelands: “Helping readers feel understood and less alone in their grief and showing them that healing is possible and life can regain meaning after loss. Sharing personal stories or others’ experiences fosters empathy and a feeling of community.”
Alicia Cox (52) from Lotus River: “When faced with loss, please know that there is hope! You are not alone.”
Nicoleen (Nicky) Thompson (56) from Retreat: “Life cracks us open, love fills the spaces.”
Ruth Carol Wyngaardt (50) from Parow: “My message is to make women aware of knowing what your financial umbrella looks like. Get your will and stuff in order and know that God’s got you. No matter what, He loves you.”
Writing the book
Scholtz says she suggested writing the book last year to the group of widows at their annual weekend retreat and early this year she confirmed with all the ladies who agreed to share their story.
According to Scholtz they had their first meeting with the publisher Liezel Snyman from Kintsukuroi Consulting in June.
“She guided us and gave us the finer details of the writing process, asked us what we hoped to achieve and then shared some tools for getting started.
“We had to start writing! Our final submission was in September, and we received feedback of any tweaks that needed to be done, for example spelling to be checked and so on…”
“We met twice, in person and online to do follow ups with our publisher and to decide on the title and book cover. This was very exciting but also challenging as we had 11 very strong personalities sharing their opinions.
“Thankfully we eventually agreed on the title and book cover.
“The cover incidentally spoke volumes about how a broken heart is mended by God and not thrown away or ignored.
“This mending is related to a Japanese art form called Kintsukuroi (Kintsugi) where a golden glue is used to put pieces of broken pottery together.
“Our final proofread was late November where all spelling, facts, and so on in the manuscript had to be 100% correct because it would go to the printers for the sample print.”
According to Scholtz it took them five months to complete the book.
In conclusion Scholtz says: “In a nutshell, we want to share stories of hope, resilience and trusting God through every season of our lives, not only the difficult ones. To not be defined by a stereotype meaning being a widow, but to rise above and know that while you are still alive and breathing, you have a purpose to fulfill.
“The golden thread in the book is about our journey of grief and healing, yet each story is unique and beautiful. It lets the reader know that grief did not have the last say in our lives, but God did and we trusted Him to dream again, smile again and do something so out of our comfort zone that only God could put together so wonderfully.
“We would love to see women being inspired and also gaining tools from our stories that they can implement in their lives and experience a beautiful work of God as they heal and heal well.”
Readers interested in purchasing a copy of the book can contact Scholtz on 083 343 8553.
