When Gqeberha-born Mandilakhe Nontenja (38) was just three years old, his living situation was so dire that he never imagined he would make it out.

Now, 35 years later, he is an Indirect Tax Manager at Sasol, Sandton, Johannesburg, and going from strength to strength.

Nontenja said, 

Meanwhile, back home with their relatives, the situation got worse for him and his older sister, Nomalungisa, who was 14.

“I mean I was young, but I remember knowing the difference between the children from that home and us. We were not allowed to come home from school and take bread from the cupboards, for example. The difference in treatment was vividly clear,” he said.

The young Nontenja at the time decided that instead of staying in what looked like a proper home on the outside and enduring the neglect, they should move out. The pair then built themselves a small shack in an informal settlement.

“’Ngisa,’ as I affectionately called her, chose peace, independence and freedom, and in those years, she did an incredible job at being my guardian, young as she was; she’s the mother I’ve always known,” Nontenja recalled.

Discipline, focus, integrity and honesty are just some of the principles she instilled in her little brother.

“I remember when I’d come home from school with something that did not belong to me, she’d immediately tell me to return it.

“Even if a friend told me to keep it for a day, she always discouraged me from keeping things that were not mine – a principle I have never let go of,” he added.

At the age of 15, Nontenja experienced loss for the first time.

His sister, the only mother he’d ever known, died at just 26 after a short illness.

“Before her death, I’d never lost anyone close to me before. Grief took its time settling in, because I had this notion that I was going to see her again when I turned the corner going to the shops or something,” he said.

While dealing the first stages of grief, Nontenja had to quickly adjust to his new reality of now living with his mother for the first time since he was just three years old.

“It was quite the shift because my mother and sister’s personalities are on polar ends, but I quickly matured and understood why my mother had to leave, and why she left us instead of taking us with her to Johannesburg.

“I’m also a born-again Christian and I believe that helped me centre myself, and served as my source of belonging.”

Nontenja chose not to see all his life’s challenges and disadvantages as obstacles, but as motivation to make a success of his life.

After completing his Grade 12 studies, he went on to pursue a BCom in Accounting at Nelson Mandela University and graduated in 2008.

Fast forward years later, Nontenja and his family went from being homeless to owning a few properties.

“My mother named me Mandilakheikhaya, which translates to “let me build this home” and although it was a name she heard on the radio and liked, it was actually prophetic.

“The name gives me a mandate to continue building my home and the legacy our children and the next generations will carry on. This is why I say my life has been divinely guided. It’s about the journey, not the destination,” Nontenja concludes.