“Recognise your inherent worth as a woman deserving of love and respect.”
These words may seem simple, but for one remarkable Macassar woman this realisation became the catalyst for life-altering change.
This Women’s Month (August), 54-year-old Sheila Cunningham recalls the moment of clarity, the turning point that catapulted her towards a journey of self-discovery, empowerment and triumph.
At just 22 she fled the Northern Cape with nothing but determination, escaping an abusive relationship to build a new life as a single mother in Cape Town.
Years of juggling multiple jobs – from house mother to dental assistant, while pursuing her education – transformed Cunningham into the passionate Grade R teacher she is today.
Her journey proves that when a woman truly believes in her worth no obstacle is insurmountable.
“When my daughter was born her father wasn’t present and didn’t contribute financially. Unable to find work in my hometown of Kenhardt I made the heartbreaking decision to leave her with my parents and move to Cape Town to provide for her.
“I found work at a residential facility for intellectually-disabled people in Stikland, where I could also live. Later I moved to Strand, and I have called Macassar home for the past 18 years.
“My daughter was my only strength during those early, frightening years. Giving up was never an option; I had to make it work for her. The hardest part was the constant insecurity of being homeless and separated from my baby and family.
“By the time I married and had my two boys, I found myself trapped in an abusive relationship. I tried leaving my ex-husband countless times, but always forgave and stayed. When the abuse extended to my daughter I knew enough was enough. My children deserved better than the life we were living. That’s when I finally realised my worth as a mother and woman. Raised to believe I was worthy of love, I understood abuse was never the life I deserved.”
Cunningham shared openly with her teenage daughter about their struggles, praying together through uncertain times, while her younger sons were protected.
“We’re blessed to have my current husband, who loves them as his own.”
For her, her children illuminated her darkest days, and it was this unconditional love that fuelled her lifelong dream of becoming a teacher.
Although Cunningham always wanted to work with children she lacked the means and guidance to pursue proper training until her au-pair employer, impressed by her natural ability, suggested she study teaching and reignited her childhood dream.
Every other job she worked contributed valuable skills to her unique teaching approach. From house-mother work Cunningham learnt the importance of family connection and love, her au-pair experience taught her patience with small children, sales work developed her communication skills, and her dental-assistant role honed her organisational precision.
Watching her own boys develop at crèche during her training deepened her passion for helping children grow from an early age, bringing her teaching dream full circle.
Cunningham studied early-childhood development at Boland College while working at crèches and then Macassar Primary School before completing her Grade R Diploma. Walking across that stage to receive her qualification made all the late nights, early mornings and sacrificed quality time with family worthwhile.
While Cunningham’s family celebrated her academic achievements alongside her roles as wife and mother, she credited her success entirely to their unwavering support.
“I can honestly say it wasn’t easy at all, but my family was my biggest support network. From my daughter handling all the administrative work for my studies to my husband ensuring everyone was fed, I could truly rely on them throughout this entire journey.”
Cunningham’s journey taught her to always give her best, a principle she instils in her learners by encouraging them to work hard, dream big, and never let anyone discourage their aspirations.
She hopes her story would inspire others to pursue their dreams regardless of age, and empower women to believe they can conquer anything if they set their minds to it, taking control of their own destiny rather than letting others determine their outcome.
“Believe in yourself. The world is more open than it was in my time, so anything you can dream, you can achieve! Also, just get started; it’s almost always the first step that’s the most difficult to take, but once you’re committed, it gets easier. And, as they always say, age is nothing but a number!”
Cunningham has not stopped dreaming. She hopes to establish her own after-care centre one day, where she can tutor learners after school and create a safe space for them.
But her ultimate dream remains owning her own house.
“Ever since I came to Cape Town, I have been renting. My family and I live in a wendy house in someone else’s backyard, and owning my own house would be the final dream I get to achieve. Owning a house would mean security and stability for my family, especially my children. I still have three children who depend on me, so I’m working hard to give them that stability. It will also give me the peace and comfort I need in my life right now.”
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