Friday was April Fools Day and once again, many people got caught up in “fake news”. But unlike the scourge of fake news, which is spread daily on social media, these April Fools jokes are purely harmless and fun pranks.
And Paarls’ Fairview Wine and Cheese wine farm had the culinary world in a proper tizz on Friday, when it announced it had just added a CBD-infused cheese to its very popular cheese range.
Fairview let the world know its famous goat herd had long been known for its mischievous behaviour, and their latest antics were sure to become the stuff of legend in the Winelands…
After attaining a grower’s licence from the South African Health Products Regulatory Authority (SAHPRA) at the back end of 2021, Fairview prepared and planted a 2 ha field with cannabis sativa. The majority of the yield was to be exported and utilised in the production of various medicinal marijuana products. Enter the Fairview goat herd . . .
Early one morning the herd of milking goats escaped from their paddock and made their way to the hidden cannabis plantation. They grazed excessively and within a few hours, the once thriving 2 ha cannabis field, had essentially disappeared! All that remained was the goat herd, half of which were sleeping among the carnage and the rest visibly perplexed and moving at a fraction of their usual, fun and frantic pace.
The goats were found shortly before the afternoon milking and were, with considerable effort, able to be milked. On analysis it was found the milk contained surprisingly high counts of both THC, the psychoactive cannabinoid, and CBD.
Further research showed that the reason for the high levels shown was because CBD binds well with the amino acids found in goats’ milk and THC cannabinoids in turn attach themselves to the smaller fat globules found in the milk.
Once attached, the cannabinoids become concentrated, heightening the chemical composition and increasing the psychoactive effect when consumed.
As luck would have it, a loophole in the legislation governing dairy production allows Fairview to produce products from the cannabis infused goats’ milk! Currently, no legislation exists that makes clear reference to the infusion of cannabis brought about by a natural process, namely an animal consuming the plant before excreting milk.
Fairview owner Charles Back is delighted at the spot of luck and excited to venture into the world of edible cannabis products! “This is an entirely new frontier for me personally, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. Our first product to go to market is a camembert called Muncheese, rich in both CBD and THC, which is now available for pre order. Soon it will be readily available in our Tasting Room and Medicinal Marijuana Dispensaries.”
Side effects of consuming the cheese include lowered pain, lowered anxiety, increased sense of humour and colourful hallucinations. Consume in moderation; 1 x 25 g serving is equal to 3 puffs of a mild sativa joint. Do not consume before operating heavy machinery.
“The next step will be introducing cannabis into the diets of our sheep, pigs and Red Angus cattle herd here on the farm,” Back said. “Not only does the plant grow year round and provide essential nutrients for our animals, but we’re hoping other CBD and THC products will become possible. Who knows, soon you may be able to order a steak with a groovy kick or some psychedelic bacon and eggs right here in the goat shed!”
And then, the deluxe hotel and spa on the foothills of Du Toits Kloof, Cascade Manor, announced on Facebook and Instagram that the third season of the very popular Netflix TV series, Bridgerton, was being filmed on the estate. Together with this were almost convincing photographs of the characters of the TV series at the estate as well as with their chef, Audrey …….
But on closer examination of the images, it was realised that they had been very cleverly photoshopped.
