IF you go through abuse, whether it is emotional, physical or both, it is important to let your voice be heard. Do not suffer in silence – there is help out there.
This message of hope is from the staff of Uitenhage Child & Family Welfare Society, who annually during Women’s Month disseminate information on the empowerment of women, especially with regardto gender based violence.
“In the past we had events in the community, but owing to the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown regulations, this time we will embark on presenting a powerful message from a survivor of gender-based violence,” said Johanna Hendricks, social worker at the Uitenhage Child & Family Welfare Society.
“Hillary, who turned her life of being a victim of gender-based violence into a life of being an inspiration to others, will reveal her real life and shocking story on our social media platform.”
The UD Express interviewed Hillary, who hails from Uitenhage, asking her what the turning point in her life, from being a victim of gender-based violence to becoming a survivor of this violation of human rights was.
“That day I took a knife … as I thought one of us had to die. That was the turning point in my life,” said Hillary.
“Our situation was out of control with unbearable physical and emotional abuse which I could no longer tolerate destroying my life.”
She did not pursue her thoughts of silencing her husband, but chose to take control of her life, to regain her emotional strength and speak out against the evil of gender-based violence.
When did the gender-based violence and abuse start in your relationship?
“Actually on my wedding day I had an unsettling feeling, like I’m not supposed to do this, but I chose to ignore my feelings.
“All went well up to three weeks into married life. Then infidelity, financial abuse, emotional abuse, intellectual abuse and eventually physical abuse were my new way of life.
“The emotional abuse was the worst. I was controlled like a robot. He made me totally dependent on him and let me believe that I’m worthless and nothing without him. That I am because of him.”
Why did you not leave him at that stage?
“At the time I could not imagine my life without him. I thought I loved him and I’d never find anyone else to love me again.
“Eventually I did leave him, but then felt so confused and lost that I went back.
“The abuse then was ten times worse.
“It was so hard. I thought I was going to die. I’ve attempted suicide twice, was depressed, anxious and at the lowest point of my life.”
As a survivor, looking back on your life, how do you feel about what happened to you?
“All that happened to shape me for who I am today. If ever I see that person again, I want to thank him for creating this independent and confident person I now am.
“I have forgiven him. I am freed from depression, stress and sickness. The cherry on top is, I have been given a second chance at love. This time around I’m being treated like a queen, the treatment every woman deserves.”
Hear the full story
To hear Hillary’s full and inspiring story on how she escaped a life of hell with gender-based violence, visit the Uitenhage Child & Family Welfare Society’s Facebook page on Thursday, August 27.
A pre-recorded interview will then be broadcast on the society’s social media platform.
Gender-based violence – a second pandemic in SA
V President Cyril Ramaphosa said that gender-based violence in South Africa should be considered as a second pandemic in the country – as serious as the coronavirus.
V Gender-based violence has been described by the World Health Organisation as a global public health problem of epidemic proportions and a fundamental violation of human rights.
- For more information about Hillary’s story presented by the Uitenhage Child & Family Welfare Society, call Johanna Hendricks at 041 992 1486.
Photo: DAILY MAVERICK
