The ex-wife of DA ward councillor candidate Rudi Stevens alleges that he contacted her last Friday after a video allegedly showing him assaulting her resurfaced, asking her to “make the video go away”.
TygerBurger reported on Tuesday (14 October) that a video showing Stevens, the DA’s ward 108 candidate whose ward includes Sunbird Park, where he lives, assaulting her viciously on camera.
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The DA’s JP Smith, metro chairperson, initially told TygerBurger that Stevens had said his ex-wife withdrew the assault case and that they now maintained an amicable relationship. Stevens reportedly told the party that the incident occurred five years ago and had been resolved through the courts. Smith said the DA believed in “reform”.
Almost a full day later, a message attributed to Smith arrived, saying, “no criminal record was incurred as his ex-wife withdrew the charge. He subsequently filed for divorce”.
Teenage boys
Stevens’ ex-wife, who does not wish to be named because she works in the public sector, said she eventually withdrew the assault case after about a year of delays. She said the prolonged process left her exhausted and that she needed to focus on helping their two teenage sons cope with what they had witnessed while dealing with her own recovery.
“Our eldest son took the video. Imagine how strong that son had to be? Just so we could have evidence. He called me last Friday because the video surfaced again. He needed me to make it go away, other than that we don’t speak. I’ve blocked him on WhatsApp because he is rude, shouts and is disrespectful.”
Stevens’ ex-wife alleges that he assaulted her in 2013, 2017 and 2021. She identified the woman seen standing nearby in the video as his mother and accused her of failing to intervene. She also recalled that, during an earlier incident, his mother blamed her, allegedly telling her, “Dis jou eie skuld.”
She rejected the DA’s description of Stevens as a reformed man.
“He is only capable of loving himself. He cheated with a co-worker half his age and that is one of five. He’s a hypocrite, a narcissist and a liar, wearing many masks ready for any situation. I’m not saying this to hurt him. He’s talking about ‘reformed man’ but he hasn’t apologised to the church leaders he was disrespectful towards, to the community leaders he is still slandering to this day, to the community of Sunbird Park, to me the actual victim and to me most importantly to the two children most affected by all of it,” she says.
Stevens’ ex-wife disputed Smith’s account that the pair maintained an amicable relationship. She said she avoided communicating with Stevens because, according to her, he became rude when conversations did not go his way. She also rejected the suggestion that he had changed or shown remorse for his past behaviour.
“He sells himself as this innocent. Yet he’s still causing division in the community of Sunbird Park. Still slandering and I’m sure if he’d still have an opportunity to take his anger out on me, he would. He failed to protect his wife as promised at the altar, he failed as a father to protect his own children, he failed as a man in general, because real men don’t repetitively do what he did and now preach about protecting children whilst neglecting his own for five years.”
The ex-wife also accused Stevens of neglecting his parental responsibilities. She said he failed to acknowledge their eldest son’s achievements at a school event in 2021 and alleged that he had shown little interest in the child’s progress since then.
“Five months after the attack, our son achieved seven diplomas. In spite of what transpired, he was present and on his phone and did not take one photo. After I asked him to stand for a picture there was a gap between them. He started talking about the elections. I looked at him and asked are you for real? After what you did, our son still achieved and you don’t even congratulate him? Only then he went and said congrats. He is a sorry excuse for a dad. Especially since he grew up without one.
“Our eldest is in matric and he hasn’t asked (about him) once throughout this entire year. Only last Friday, because he needed something from me. For the past five years, with a court order in place he hasn’t taken them once for a weekend. Not once. He has only seen them twice in 2026.”
No bitter ex
She says she is not a bitter ex, but she won’t stand for his lies.
“If he is a changed man, he should have started with me. He sent me an email a couple of weeks ago, with the same tone. With Rudi, don’t bring up what happened in the past. Even yesterday, it’s over. If you want him mad, bring up his mistakes.”
She says he refused to talk about the assault: “He shuts down and I must have just accepted it and be happy. Wondering and pondering over what, why, how? He didn’t care. This matter happened five years ago but I can hear the frustration in the words because he doesn’t like his wrongs to be brought up. He is a coward.”
She said she eventually withdrew the case because the prolonged process was affecting her ability to recover and support her children. She wanted to focus on her work and helping her sons move forward.
Ex-wife challenges DA’s support
She says she now wishes to put this matter to bed but called on DA leaders to reconsider their support for Stevens, arguing that his public advocacy for women’s rights and child protection was at odds with what she said had happened within his family.
“Real men respect women. Real men protect children. He’s not doing any of it, because he has to sell himself. Rudi wears many masks and he’s good at it. We at home were the only ones who got the real Rudi Stevens,” she said, challenging the party’s assertion that he had turned his life around.
In a further response, the DA described the alleged assault as deplorable but maintained that Stevens had turned his life around over the past five years.
“The DA believes in giving second chances and that people can be redeemed,” Smith said, citing Stevens’ work as an emergency responder, community volunteer, first-aid trainer and anti-gender-based violence campaigner as evidence of his conduct in the intervening years.
The party said Stevens’ subsequent behaviour should be considered when assessing whether he had genuinely reformed.
