For many families, the eldest daughter is the “second mother.” She carries responsibilities, sets the example, and often puts others’ needs ahead of her own. Yet the emotional weight of this role is rarely acknowledged.
It was this unspoken truth that inspired Vulimedia House to host the first-ever First-born daughters Healing Retreat, held on Saturday, 30 August at Berth House in Mowbray. The retreat closed out Women’s Month with a powerful day of reflection, restoration, and spiritual renewal.
The burden of responsibility
Retreat organiser Liqhame Rasmeni said the idea came from witnessing the silent struggles first-born daughters carry.
“Hosting this retreat was a profound honour,” she said.
“To see women step into a safe space, open their hearts, and allow God to heal and restore was nothing short of miraculous.
This was more than an event. It was a move of God , a reminder that first-born daughters are not burdened, but chosen.”
Attendees were invited to wear denim and white , symbolising strength and purity. The day featured prayer, faith-based teachings, and open sharing.
Themes of Healing
Sessions explored deeply personal topics, including:
- The Unseen Child
- Mothered Before I Was Ready
- The Daughter’s Emotional Debt
- Reclaiming Your Own Story
These themes resonated with many participants, echoing their own experiences of carrying family expectations from a young age — often sacrificing their childhood to protect and provide for siblings.
Experts describe this pattern as “eldest daughter syndrome”, where cultural and family norms silently assign the role of caregiver and emotional anchor to the first-born daughter.
Testimonies of renewal
For participant Thembisa Mekuto, the experience was life-changing.
“For the first time, I felt seen, understood, and embraced in my unique journey.
The sessions were powerful. The atmosphere was filled with God’s presence, and the sisterhood I experienced was beyond words.
I left feeling lighter, restored, and renewed , carrying not only healing but a deeper sense of purpose.”
Building a sisterhood
The event was a reminder that Women’s Month should not only be about celebration , but also about healing the wounds women often carry in silence.
Rasmeni said the retreat is only the beginning.
“We are building a community of healing and empowerment,” she said.
“A place where first-born daughters can gather, release, and be restored. The vision is to ensure no eldest daughter walks this journey alone.”
