En uiteindelik het daai oom oor wie almal so gewonder het \u2019n gesig gekry. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nee, nie die een wat soos mis voor die son met al die miljarde verdwyn het nie, want in daai geval praat ons van meer as net een gesig. Ek praat van die een wat wel die hele land aan die gons gehad het vandat ons in letterlike donkerte gedompel was \u2013 daai een wat elke keer die mag gehad het (en steeds het) om \u2019n knoppie te kan druk en . . . kaboem, ons almal is tot die kers en olielampie gedoem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laat ek nou nie eens begin bespiegel oor jou naam nie, want o, kerspit weet, jy het op hierdie tydstip al \u2019n magdom name waarvan jy nie eens bewus is nie. Nie eens binnelandse sake sal \u2019n geboorteboekie of kaart groot genoeg h\u00ea om al jou name neer te pen nie. Van jou lang lys name kan ek nie eens waag om \u2019n paar daarvan uit te spreek nie, want glo my, as ek moet probeer, gaan ek gewis die hemelpoorte mis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
En of dit net jy is en of jy \u2019n paar helpers ook het, moet jy of julle maar sterk wees, want borsskoonmaak die gaan ek. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ek het vir \u2019n breukdeel van \u2019n sekonde nog getwyfel of ek jou moet s\u00ea wat ek wil s\u00ea, maar toe ek eers daai lekker-kry-gevoel op jou gesig sien as jy daai knoppies druk, toe verdwyn elke greintjie simpatie aan my kant. Siesa, man, het jy dan geen skaamte om \u2019n mens so te ontrief nie? Hoop jy weet jy is een van die redes waarom blakend gesonde mense nou ewe skielik op die sterkste bloeddrukpilvoorskrif is. Jy laat \u2019n man by die winkels skarrel om die kosgoed vir die volgende maaltyd in die hande te kry. En skaamteloos kyk jy toe hoe daai maaltyd, wat gewoonlik binne \u2019n uur berei word, nou binne rekordtye \u2013 selfs \u2019n kwartier \u2013 kafgedraf moet word. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jy lag seker baie lekker as \u2019n mens jou gunstelingsepie net vir die eerste sewe minute kan kyk, want dan steek jy mos weer met jou ou truuks uit. Jy\u2019t die ander dag nie eens respek gehad virrie kwien se laaste oomblikke nie. Ek meen maar, hier by ons het ou tannies al van vroegdag af begin op-dress<\/span> vir die okkasie. Daai Ingelse teestel is al vir dae skoongevryf en die beste versnaperings is vir die \u201cafter tears<\/span>\u201d-partytjie voorberei. En glo my, jy sou nie genooi word nie \u2013 nie met jou reputasie wat jy oor die afgelope klompie jare opgebou het nie. Wel, ten minste kan \u2019n mens jou boeliegedrag verstaan as jy weer met daai gangetjie afstap en daai groen-na-rooiknoppies begin druk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ek kan al sien hoe jy met groot genoegdoening daai knoppies druk en saggies mompel \u201cvatso Paarl, Mitchells Plain, Robertson, Klapmuts, Gouda en Jacobsbaai\u201d. Dan moet ons almal maar laag l\u00ea, want s\u00ea ons net iets skeef na jou kant toe, dan besluit jy mos sommer gou jy hou daai rooi knoppie aan vir \u2019n ekstra vyftien minute. Wel, jou vroutjielief se kos het seker vir \u2019n paar dae nie lekker gesmaak nie, want jy bring wraggies jou huislike probleme saam werk toe en besluit om aspris weer van ons dorpie te vergeet en daai knoppie vir twee ure langer as die geskeduleerde tyd aan te hou. Of dalk is jy moerig omdat jy nog nie \u2019n salarisverhoging gekry het vir jou knoppiedrukwerk nie. En nou besluit jy sommer blatant dat ons daaronder moet ly. Wat \u2019n skande! <\/p>\n\n\n\n En, o ja, moenie jou streke van nou die dag vergeet nie. Ons almal kyk so lekker na die W\u00eareldbeker-sewestoer\u00adnooi en voel trots dat ons die geleentheid met soveel tegniese kundigheid en styl kon aanbied. En wraggies, daar kom jy en wys dat jy die finale s\u00ea het. Genade tog, wat moet die w\u00eareld van ons dink? Dink jy dis \u2019n grap? Voeg daarby die ander Sondag toe jy ook mos ons almal se dag beheer en beplan het. Letterlik het jy besluit dat ons moet klaarkry met alles wat ons nog vir die dag moet doen, want agtuur daai aand sit jy vir rooiknoppie-goete aan en moet ons almal snoesig in die bed wees. Ek het weer elf jaar oud gevoel. My ma het toe ges\u00ea ek moet loop inkruip, want m\u00f4re is dit skool. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kry maar lekker, jou dag gaan kom. Geniet daai knoppie-druk-saak solank jy kan, want die wiel gaan draai \u2013 jy wat eerbare, liefdevolle kerkmense in vloekende skelbekke laat ontaard; jy wat die laaste bietjie energie en lewenslus uit \u2019n mens wil wurg en wat veroorsaak dat \u2019n menige van ons vir dae aaneen nie die binnekant van \u2019n badkamer of \u2019n waskommetjie sien nie \u2026 ja, jy wat die geur van braaivleis \u2019n bitter nasmaak gee, want ons doen dit al meer omdat ons dit moet doen. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bly hoop en 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