Daar is soveel ironie in die lewe. Een van die grootste ironiese situasies is die ouer-kind-verhouding. Selfs in die diereryk. Kyk na die arende. Hulle sal hul lewe gee om hul kuikens te beskerm, net om hulle op ‘n dag uit die nes te skop sodat die kuiken self deur die lug kan sweef en sy\/haar eie lewe as ‘n arend kan leef.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die dag as die bondeltjie mens vir die eerste keer in jou arms l\u00ea, weet jy als wat was, gaan nou anders wees. Min het ‘n mens besef h\u00f3\u00e9 anders, dis goed ‘n mens kan nie in die toekoms sien nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die ouer-kind-verhouding bly ‘n enigma en daar is nie ‘n ouer-handleiding wat jou laat weet hoe en wat nie. Elke ouer probeer net sy of haar beste. Die werklikheid is dat ons almal net mens is, ouer en kind. Kinders is net vir ons geleen en ons taak is om hulle groot te maak tot dit tyd is om, soos die arend se kuiken, hulle uit die nes te skop om hul eie lewe in ons w\u00eareld uit te kap. Dis ook waar dat kind grootmaak nie ‘n 20-jaar-projek is nie, maar ‘n projek vir ‘n leeftyd.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kinders grootmaak is soos om vir ‘n plant te sorg , elke dag water te gee en dit te sien groei en blom. Daar is ‘n eksperiment gedoen met plante, waarin een plant elke dag sleg ges\u00ea is en ‘n ander plant geprys is. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die plant wat geprys is, het beter gegroei. Dink net as negatiewe woorde ‘n plant skade kan aandoen, wat doen ons woorde nie aan mekaar nie?\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kinders moet veilig voel. Ouers moet luister om te verstaan en nie om te reageer nie. Albei moet grense h\u00ea wat hulle respekteer. Die soort grense word deur die kind se ouderdom bepaal. Kinders moet toegelaat word om foute te maak en oplossings te vind. Daar moet wedersydse vertroue wees. Ouers moet hul kinders goeie maniere leer sodat hulle aangename volwassenes word. Dit help dat hulle maklik vriende kan maak en aanvaar word. Kinders moet na ouers luister en nie maak soos Rooikappie wat na die wolf geluister het en dit daartoe gelei het dat haar ouma amper Wolf se kos geword het nie.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ons dink ons het beheer oor ons kinders, maar dis net ‘n illusie. Die eerste keer wanneer jou kleuter sy vinger na jou wys en sy koppie links en regs draai, op daai dag het jy begin beheer verloor. Die beste wat ons as ouer kan doen, is om langs jou kind te stap, hom te lei, vir hom te bid en toe te laat dat hy die beste mens kan word wat hy of sy bedoel is om te wees.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die lewe is egter nie so maklik nie. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dikwels is die lewe onvoorspelbaar en onregverdig. Die hartseer is dat die lewe se ritte soms omgegooi word en dan word ‘n kind hemel toe geneem, of jy staan jou kind aan die lewe af. Die redes maak nie saak nie. Die dag as dit gebeur, hou jy op om normaal asem te haal. Daar bly ‘n donker gat in jou hart. Die gat gaan nooit weg nie. Met tyd raak dit ‘n bietjie kleiner, net maar om so af en toe weer deur die lewe herinner te word dat daar ‘n gat in jou hart is en ‘n herinnering op jou voorstoep kom neersit.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As jy van die gese\u00ebndes is wie se kind die straight and narrow pad gevolg het, moet jy baie dankie s\u00ea vir ‘n groot genade. As jy ‘n ouer is wie se kind \u00earens die afdraaipad gekies het, weet daar is altyd hoop. Een van die kragtigste aksies vir ‘n ouer is gebed. Biddende ouers is een van die magtigste wapens en ek glo dat ‘n biddende ouer se gebed kragtig is, al is hulle nie meer op aarde nie. Iets anders wat ek myself wysmaak is dat soos die Heer met ons as ouers is, so sal Hy ook met ons kinders wees. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kinders word groot ten spyte van die lewe.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daar is ouers en kinders wat mekaar so seermaak dat dit beter is as hulle skei. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dis soms ‘n beter opsie as dat hulle mekaar se siele seermaak en mekaar vernietig. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Al maak ‘n mens mekaar seer, moet daar \u00earens in jou lewe ‘n tyd kom wanneer jy vrede maak, die kwaad en vergelding laat gaan sodat jy vrede kan h\u00ea en liefde kan gee vir mense om jou. Teen jou dertigste verjaarsdag moet jy seker besef dat jy nie meer ander en omstandighede kan blameer vir wie en wat jy is nie. Dis dan tyd om verantwoordelikheid te neem vir jou eie lewe.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die ouer-kind-verhouding is ‘n komplekse gedoente. Grense laat kinders veilig voel, maar beheer laat hulle wegloop. Ons wil ook ons kinders teen die seer van die lewe beskerm, teen die big bad wolf daar buite. Maar om jou kind in ‘n glaskas groot te maak of om te help sodat hul nie self besluite kan neem nie is ook nie gesond nie. Net so is dit nie reg om jou kind vir die wolwe te gooi nie. Net so kan kinders ook nie net ouers misbruik en hulle figuurlik in die wind en weer laat staan en van hulle vergeet nie. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In ‘n perfekte w\u00eareld het ouers en kinders mekaar onvoorwaardelik lief. Spandeer ons gehalte-tyd saam. Verstaan ons mekaar. Is daar wedersydse respek. Al die goeie dinge wat nodig is vir ‘n perfekte verhouding.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die lewe is nie perfek nie. As daar krake in die ouer-kind-verhouding is, is daar altyd hoop om ‘n brug of twee te bou. Daar is geen nut daarin om soos ‘n bulterrier vas te byt aan kwaad en vergelding nie. Dis soms nodig om te s\u00ea wat gebeur het, was verkeerd, maar ek is oukei en jou lewe terug te neem.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teen die einde is dit net nodig dat ons opdaag vir mekaar ongeag die onvolmaakte w\u00eareld waarin ons leef en brugbouers te wees in plaas daarvan om oorlogsbomme op ‘n verhoudingsbrug te gooi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kinders moet veilig voel. 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