Mishandeling begin so klein dat dit maklik is om nie die gevaartekens raak te sien nie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die gruwelprentjie word eers veel later ingekleur. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u00f3 vertel Ilse Venter in haar nuut vrygestelde boek So lyk \u2019n vrou<\/em><\/span> van haar 40 jaar van hel saam met \u2019n gewelddadige narsis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Venter het vroue van reg oor die Kaap toegespreek by \u2019n onlangse vroueoggend ten bate van Huis Jabes by 360 Bloemendal in die Durbanville-wynvallei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Huis Jabes is sedert 2008 \u2019n veilige hawe vir mishandelde vroue om die kringloop van huishoudelike geweld te ontsnap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sedertdien het sowat 900 vroue weer by die tehuis hoop gevind om hul lewe na mishandeling te hervat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMishandeling is in die verlede baie toegesmeer en stilswye bly nog steeds die basis van mishandeling. Elke vrou wat mishandel word, het haar eie redes vir hoekom sy bly. Vir my was dit oor die aanvaarding waarna ek gesmag het n\u00e1 my kinderjare met \u2019n afwesige pa en ook vir my kinders en om finansi\u00eble redes. Ek het die huis en lewenstyl gehad wat ek gedink het goed en reg was. Die waarheid is egter dat ek gebly het ten koste van my kinders wat ook onherstelbare skade gely het,\u201d s\u00ea Venter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Venter was net 16 toe sy haar skoolliefde ontmoet het, later met hom getrou het en haar eie mishandeling begin het. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs jy jonk en verlief is, is die liefde baiekeer te blind om die gewelddadige neigings en jaloesie raak te sien. Die \u2018jy is myne, net myne of niks\u2019-retoriek se hartseer besef jy eers later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaar daar is hoop om uit \u2019n gewelddadige huwelik of verhouding te kom, en daar is lewe daarna en daarom is dit so belangrik vir vroue om \u2019n toevlug te h\u00ea,\u201d s\u00ea Venter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veral finansi\u00eble afhanklikheid is \u2019n faktor wat vroue in mishandeling gevange hou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDie afgelope 14 jaar van Huis Jabes se bestaan het ek persoonlik al honderde vroue gesien wat by Huis Jabes aankom met net die klere aan hul lyf, selfs die motor waarmee sy ry was nie haar eie nie, en \u2019n bankrekening is iets waartoe sy jare gelede toegang gehad het,\u201d s\u00ea Adri Klindt, stigter van Huis Jabes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Klindt s\u00ea gesinsgeweld begin gereeld met finansi\u00eble mishandeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sy adviseer vroue aan om finansieel onafhanklik te wees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVerminder jou skuld en spaar minstens 10% van jou inkomste. Beskerm jou inkomstevermo\u00eb en onthou hoe vroe\u00ebr jy begin spaar, hoe beter. Rykdom gaan nie oor die hoeveelheid geld in jou beursie nie, maar wel oor die inkomste wat jy kan genereer uit die kapitaal wat jy het,\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sy ontmoedig vroue om sekuriteit vir iemand anders te teken of in iets te bel\u00ea wat sy nie verstaan nie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Volgens Klindt is finansi\u00eble mishandeling iets wat baie in ons samelewing voorkom sonder dat die slagoffer besef sy word mishandel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDit gebeur wanneer finansies beheer word en geld weerhou word. Baie vroue word ook verhinder om te werk en skuld word doelbewus aangegaan. Geld is dikwels een van die grootste obstruksies wat slagoffers in die gesig staar en heel moontlik die sterkste faktor wat hulle ontmoedig om hul mishandelaars te verlaat,\u201d s\u00ea Klindt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sandra*, \u2019n inwoner van Huis Jabes, het vertel van haar eie ervaring met gesinsgeweld.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNes so baie ander vroue, het ek ook stilgebly, want daar was nie finansies nie, waarheen sou ek gaan? Vir sommige vroue raak dit \u2019n kringloop van slegte verhoudings tot jy besluit genoeg is genoeg.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Met haar aankoms by Huis Jabes, s\u00ea Sandra, het sy dadelik veilig en tuis gevoel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEk is uit \u2019n donker gat uit gehaal om weer mens te voel. Ek hoef niemand te soebat en te smeek as ek iets nodig het nie, want alles wat ek nodig het, word vir my gegee. Ek het die geleentheid om weer te begin.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Mishandeling begin so klein dat dit maklik is om nie die gevaartekens raak te sien 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