Die eerste keer dat \u2019n dokter vir my ges\u00ea het dat ek angs het, wou ek hom klap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toe roep hy maar \u2019n psigiater, wat dieselfde ges\u00ea het, en ek was woedend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Angs. Regtig?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dis nou nie dat ek myself as bonatuurlik spesiaal ag nie, maar ek was aan die dood se rand en hulle was besig om my tyd te mors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dit was al \u2019n maand nadat ek \u2019n onverwagse lewensbedreigende (en -veranderende) ervaring gehad het. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My eersteling is skielik (en hopeloos te vroeg) gebore. Tot in daardie stadium het en my man oorsee gebly en het net gou vir oulaas kom kuier voor haar koms in Engeland.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oorsese medici het nie agtergekom dat ek \u2019n ho\u00ebbloeddruk-risiko is nie en ons het salig onbewus weer vakansie kom hou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Een aand het my bloeddruk egter die hoogte ingeskiet en ek is hospitaal toe. Drie dae later het ek begin toevalle kry en sussie is noodgedwonge met \u2019n keisersnee gebore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dit was natuurlik \u2019n geweldige se\u00ebn: My dogtertjie bly een van die grootste geskenke van my lewe en is nou \u2019n gesonde 8-jarige. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enkele dae uit die ho\u00ebsorgeenheid, het ek egter besef daar is steeds iets groot verkeerd met my.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dit was moeilik om asem te haal, my bloeddruk was steeds hemelhoog en dit was asof iemand my hart konstant vasgehou het. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oor en oor is ek terug dokter toe (hoera vir reisversekering!). Oor en oor kon hy niks vind nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hy het uiteindelik \u2019n internis gekry om alles te toets. Dit was die internis wat ges\u00ea het ek het angs en wat toe die psigiater geroep het. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dit kon egter nie angs wees nie, het ek hulle verseker, want angs is stres en stres is beheerbaar en ek is \u2019n mens wat in beheer is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ek het al lank vrede gemaak met my depressie, maar eerlikwaar, stres is nie \u2019n siekte nie. Tot hul ewige krediet, het hulle klaarblyklik al telkemale met half-histeriese pasi\u00ebnte gewerk en my oortuig om \u2019n kalmeerpil te drink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2019n Uur later was dit soos die eerste keer dat ek \u2019n bril begin dra het. Skielik was ek in beheer; regtig in beheer. Die agtergrondgeraas het bedaar. Ekself het bedaar. En vir die eerste keer het ek besef ek is dalk nie besig om nou dood te gaan nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dit is nou al \u2019n lang pad wat ek met angs loop. Iets wat ek toe besef het regtig \u2019n siekte is en nie \u201cnet stres\u201d is nie. Dis \u2019n siekte wat al \u2019n lang aanloop het.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As kind het ek dikwels oor die vreemdste dinge bekommerd geraak. My familie lag nou nog oor die keer dat ek histeries was oor die moontlikheid dat \u2019n blinde persoon in die re\u00ebn sou bestuur en op ons kar sou afpyl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Op skool en universiteit kon ek skaars eksamen skryf, want alles in my kop het net \u2019n waas geword. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maar, met baie, baie hulp, het ek ook besef angs is iets wat met oefening beter kan word. Dat angs eintlik my brein is wat my probeer beskerm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die einste dogter wat vroeggebore is, vra deesdae ook sulke bekommerde vrae oor alles in die lewe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
En nou kan ek antwoord: \u201cKom, Mamma vertel jou wat Mamma geleer het toe jy gebore is?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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