{"id":97975,"date":"2026-04-07T14:05:42","date_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:05:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=97975"},"modified":"2026-04-07T14:12:08","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:12:08","slug":"met-liefde-reels-18-wenke-vir-moderne-ouers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/met-liefde-reels-18-wenke-vir-moderne-ouers\/","title":{"rendered":"Met liefde &#038; re\u00ebls: 18 wenke vir moderne ouers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Met liefde &amp; re\u00ebls: 18 wenke vir moderne ouers deur Ilse Salzwedel<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ons geslag sukkel meer met dissipline as ons voorouers. Beslis nie omdat ons minder weet of g\u2019n stuk omgee nie, maar omdat skuldgevoelens, te min tyd, morele verval en \u2019n snelveranderende samelewing ons soms laat vergeet hoekom dissipline so \u2019n belangrike deel van kinderopvoeding is.<\/p>\n<p>Maar jy hoef nie soos ouers oorkant die water by \u2019n TV-<em>nanny<\/em> hulp te gaan soek nie.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Hier is die basiese beginsels van kinderopvoeding waarmee jy jou instink kan verfris.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Bepaal die re\u00ebls<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Dis soos om \u2019n padkaart vir jou gesin te teken. Kenners is dit eens dat kinders veiliger voel as hulle weet waar die grense van goeie gedrag is.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Moets:<\/strong> Bespreek die re\u00ebls \u00e9n die straf as dit nie nagekom word nie. Plak dit iewers op sodat almal seker is wat van hulle verwag word. Tree konsekwent op sodat die kind presies weet wat om van jou te verwag.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Re\u00ebls, roetine en rituele<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Onthou di\u00e9 drie r\u2019e van kindgrootmaak.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Moets:<\/strong> Hou dit eenvoudig. Skep rituele eie aan jul gesin &#8211; koffie en beskuit in Ma en Pa se bed op \u2019n Saterdagoggend, \u2019n piekniek elke Sondag \u2026 dit laat jou kinders spesiaal voel en versterk jul verhouding wat die opdwing van re\u00ebls baie makliker maak.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>L\u00e9\u00e9f die waardes wat jy predik<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Onthou:<\/strong> Jou kinders hou jou dop \u201csoos \u2019n supergeheime Russiese spioenasiesatelliet\u201d, skryf Dave Meurer in sy humoristiese boek Boyhood Daze (oor die grootmaak van seuns).<\/p>\n<p>Baklei jy en jou man gereeld, maar verwag jy van jou kinders om nie met maats of mekaar te baklei nie? Vloek jy? Kom jy altyd laat? Stel jy werk uit tot op die nippertjie? Jou kinders gaan word wat jy leef!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Kyk jou kind in die o\u00eb as jy met hom praat<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u2019n Kind hoor met sy ore, maar luister met sy o\u00eb, is die raad van dr. Pieter Kitshoff, \u2019n sielkundige van Alberton wat groot sukses met hiperaktiewe kinders en aandag-afleibaarheid behaal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Moenie:<\/strong> \u2019n Opdrag skree terwyl jy in \u2019n ander vertrek is nie. Die kans is goed dat jou kind nie reg sal hoor nie, of jou nie reg sal verstaan nie. Opdragte wat op di\u00e9 manier gegee word, laat \u2019n kind voel dat jy nie respek vir hom het nie &#8211; net soos jy nie daarvan sal hou as jou baas altyd skreeuend uit \u2019n ander vertrek met jou kommunikeer nie.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Beklemtoon die positiewe, en nie net altyd die negatiewe nie.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Moet:<\/strong> As jy geneig is om altyd te raas as jou kind stout is, prys haar nou \u2019n slag as sy iets ouliks doen of haar baie mooi gedra.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Hoek toe<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As jy moeg gepraat is, stuur jou kind &#8211; sonder speelgoed &#8211; na \u2019n \u201cvervelige\u201d plek soos die hoek van die vertrek.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Moet:<\/strong> Laat hy met sy rug na die res van julle staan en nadink oor sy gedrag of kalmeer. Een minuut vir elke jaar oud is \u2019n goeie maatstaf. Ignoreer hom gerus vir daardie paar minute nadat jy verduidelik het hoekom hy gestraf word.<\/p>\n<p>Dit werk veral goed vir meer sensitiewe kinders &#8211; hulle voel gou alleen en sal alles moontlik doen om toekomstige afsondering te vermy.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Hok hom<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Dr. Phil meen dis \u2019n goeie straf om skoolgaande kinders te hok.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Moet<\/strong>: Selfs al het jou kind nog nie \u2019n sosiale lewe buite die huis nie, kan jy hom n\u00e1 slegte gedrag vroeg kamer toe stuur sonder televisie. Dit werk weer eens beter vir sosiale kinders as vir \u2019n kind wat in elk geval sy eie geselskap verkies.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Weerhou voorregte soos TV-kyk of rekenaarspeletjies.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Dit kan net werk as jou kind hierdie goed as voorregte en nie as regte beskou nie. Hoe anders gaan jou kind leer dat voorregte saam met verantwoordelikhede en verpligtinge kom?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Onderhandeling is vir politici<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Kinders wil nooit enigiets doen wat goed is vir hulle nie. Dus, ignoreer wat hulle wil h\u00ea en gee hulle wat hulle nodig het. Jy is nie besig met \u2019n burgemeestersverkiesing nie, en hoef nie na hul pype te dans nie &#8211; Dave Meurer in Boyhood Daze.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Hou op omkoop<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u201cMorele waardes moet deel word van \u2019n kind, en kan nie bloot gekoop en verkoop word nie,\u201d waarsku kenners in die Complete Book of Baby &amp; Child Care. Moenie voortdurend beloning aan gehoorsaamheid koppel nie.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Doen wat jy belowe het as jy jou kind se vertroue wil behou<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As iets voorval en jy nie by \u2019n belofte kan hou nie, verduidelik dit vir jou kind. Dis noodsaaklik vir goeie verhoudings en goeie dissipline dat hulle weet hulle kan op jou staatmaak.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>\u2019n Vaste roetine<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u2019n Kind jonger as agt maande het nog nie dissipline nodig nie, maar wel \u2019n vaste roetine. Maar maak seker dat jy teen agttien maande darem al met basiese dissipline begin het.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Handhaaf \u2019n verenigde front<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Ma, pa, die huishulp en die kleuterskool behoort dieselfde basiese re\u00ebls toe te pas.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Eet saam aandete<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u2019n Studie onder 527 tieners by die Cincinnati Children\u2019s Hospital het getoon dat tieners wie se ouers vyf keer of meer per week saam met hulle aandete ge\u00ebet het, die minste geneig was tot dwelmgebruik, botsings met die gereg of depressie.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Sagte liefde of ferm liefde?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u201cTerwyl sagte liefde \u2019n kind se hart oopmaak, gee ferm liefde hom meer ruggraat om sterk en duidelik te kan leef in die w\u00eareld waarin hy grootword,\u201d skryf Steve Biddulph in More Secrets of Happy Children.<\/p>\n<p>Elize Olivier, \u2019n kindersielkundige van Northcliff, Johannesburg, stem saam. \u201cAs jy jou kind nie liefhet nie, en nie \u2019n goeie verhouding met hom of haar het nie, kan jy hom nie dissiplineer en die basiese waardes leer nie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sekere dinge is ononderhandelbaar, meen Elize. \u201cDit sluit dinge in soos persoonlike higi\u00ebne, skoolwerk en tye saam met die gesin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Dis hierdie o\u00ebnskynlike klein dingejies wat kinders belangrike lewenswaardes soos selfrespek, verantwoordelikheid en omgee vir ander leer.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Die beste geskenke: tyd en aandag<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Opregte aandag is een van die kragtigste maniere waarop \u2019n ouer \u2019n kind positief kan motiveer, s\u00ea Dr. Phil.<\/p>\n<p>Steve Biddulph, bekende Australiese kinderopvoeder en skrywer van boeke soos More Secrets of Happy Children, meen dit help niks jy vertel jou kinders dat jy hulle liefhet as jy nooit by hulle is nie. \u201cMet kinders is dit wat jy doen belangrik, en nie wat jy s\u00ea nie.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>B\u00eare die koerant, skakel die TV en selfoon af en luister en gesels vir \u2019n slag met onverdeelde aandag! Of nog beter, speel saam, of doen iets wat jou kind regtig graag wil doen.<\/p>\n<p>Onthou ook dr. James Dobson se raad in Bemoedigende raad vir moedelose ouers: \u201cDie oomblikke wat vir jou die kosbaarste gaan wees, gebeur nie gedurende geskeduleerde aktiwiteit nie, maar in die vryheid van ongestruktureerde en ongejaagde tyd saam.\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>Wat seuns \u00e9n dogters nodig het<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Steve Biddulph is veral bekend as groot kampvegter vir die positiewe rol wat pa\u2019s in hul kinders se lewe kan speel. Hy skryf in sy bekende boek Manhood dat pa\u2019s van die swangerskap-fase af reeds by hul kinders betrokke moet wees. \u201cJy kan \u2019n teenwoordigheid wees in elke fase van hul lewe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hy meen seuns en dogters het hul pa\u2019s ewe nodig.<\/p>\n<p>Die pad na nabyheid aan jou seun, meen Biddulph, loop hand aan hand met saamdoen. Maar moenie van die praat vergeet nie, waarsku hy.<\/p>\n<p>En hoe moet ons dogters grootmaak? \u201cBewonder hulle, en leer hulle selfstandigheid. Respekteer hul ruimte, en moet nooit hul voorkoms evalueer nie, behalwe op \u2019n positiewe manier,\u201d is sy raad.<\/p>\n<p>Ook oor seks het hy belangrike raad: \u201cLeer jou kinders dat seks goed is, maar spesiaal. Beskerm hulle teen goedkoop en uitbuitende media en situasies.\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h4><strong><em>Focus on the Family<\/em> se ses dissipline-beginsels:<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ol>\n<li>Balanseer liefde met grense.<\/li>\n<li>Ouers moet die leiers in die huis wees &#8211; nie die kinders nie.<\/li>\n<li>Leer om te onderskei tussen normale gedrag, kinderlike onverantwoordelikheid en openlike verset, want almal vereis verskillende optrede.<\/li>\n<li>Onthou dat konflik tussen ouer en kind onafwendbaar is.<\/li>\n<li>Ouerliefde en jou kind se beste belange behoort jou finale maatstaf te wees.<\/li>\n<li>Moenie ophou bid nie!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-163541 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/pexels-misha-kudrich-1871647255-28625531-500x333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lees gerus:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>The Better baby<\/em> deur Susan Wenger (Corals Publishers, 2005. Beskikbaar by goeie boekwinkels, of by 016 982 3255).<\/li>\n<li><em>Manhood<\/em> deur Steve Biddulph (Vermillion, 2004).<\/li>\n<li><em>More Secrets of Happy Children<\/em> deur Steve Biddulph (Harper Collins Publishers, 1998).<\/li>\n<li><em>Bemoedigende raad vir moedelose ouers<\/em> deur dr. James Dobson (Christelike Uitgewersmaatskappy, 2005).<\/li>\n<li><em>Praktiese ouerskap<\/em> deur dr. James Dobson (Struik Christelike Boeke, 2004).<\/li>\n<li><em>Boyhood Daze<\/em> deur Dave Meurer (Bethany House Publishers, 1999).<\/li>\n<li><em>The Complete Book of Baby &amp; Child Care<\/em> (Focus on the Family, Tyndale Publishers, 1997).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p><strong>Lees ook:\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/hoeveel-slaap-het-tieners-regtig-nodig\/\">Hoeveel slaap het jou kinders\u00a0nodig?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Goeie ouers weet instinktief wat die regte ding is om vir hul kinders te doen. Maar ons, die goeie ouers van ons tyd, soek ons moedeloos na di\u00e9 kosbare instink wat toegegooi l\u00ea onder \u2019n massa uiteenlopende menings oor kinderopvoeding. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":163540,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[679,662],"tags":[60333,134,23444],"class_list":["post-97975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ouerskap","category-jou-lewe","tag-jou-lewe","tag-ouerskap","tag-parenting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Met liefde &amp; re\u00ebls: 18 wenke vir moderne ouers | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Goeie ouers weet instinktief wat die regte ding is om vir hul kinders te doen. 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