{"id":93611,"date":"2026-03-17T15:35:09","date_gmt":"2026-03-17T13:35:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=93611"},"modified":"2026-03-17T15:38:14","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T13:38:14","slug":"die-pad-na-jou-kleinkind-se-hart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/die-pad-na-jou-kleinkind-se-hart\/","title":{"rendered":"Die pad na jou kleinkind se hart"},"content":{"rendered":"

Deur Mariette Snyman. Foto Freepik<\/a><\/p>\n

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As jy \u2019n ouma of \u2019n oupa is, ervaar jy die oppe en affe van grootouer wees aan eie lyf. Miskien het jy innige verbintenisse met jou kleinkinders \u00e9n hul ouers, of dalk is dit moeilik om familieverhoudings te laat vlot.<\/p>\n

Die dae toe geslag n\u00e1 geslag dieselfde landelike bestaan gedeel het, l\u00ea ver in die verlede. Vanwe\u00eb reusespronge in onder meer die wetenskap en tegnologie word elke geslag met nuwe uitvindings groot. Anders as vandag se kinders moes hul oupas en oumas sonder die Internet, ononderbroke selfoonverbinding en die sosiale media klaarkom. Hulle het met \u2019n ander woordeskat, aanspreekvorme, gesagstrukture, taboes en selfs morele kwessies grootgeword.<\/p>\n

Een ding wat gelukkig nie verander het nie, is die spesiale band wat tussen grootouers en kleinkinders kan bestaan. As di\u00e9 verbintenis onder druk beland, moet oupas en oumas plan maak!<\/p>\n

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Buit jou posisie uit<\/h4>\n

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\u201cDie groot, bevrydende verskil tussen \u2019n ma en \u2019n ouma is dat \u2019n ouma haar rolle kan kies. \u2019n Ma is noodgedwonge polisieman, aanjaer, badafdwinger en heks. \u2019n Ouma het \u2019n keuse tussen minister van welsyn, bederwer, storievoorleser, skootopteller, wiegeliedjiesanger en goeie fee.\u201d S\u00f3 skryf Ida Gr\u00e4be in So s\u00ea Oupa, so s\u00ea Ouma<\/em> wat sy en haar man, Petru, geskryf het.<\/p>\n

Ida wys op ander voordele van di\u00e9 posisie, soos dat oumas en dogtertjies meestal uitstekend klaarkom – minstens totdat \u201cdie klein dametjie \u2019n tiener is. Eers het haar ouma die sagste skoot, die mooiste laggende o\u00eb en, beste van alles, as Pa en Ma uit die eetkamer is, eet Ouma vir haar haar blomkool en pampoen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2019n Ouma is vir haar kleindogter \u201cgeselskap en \u2019n vertroueling, \u2019n oppasser, \u2019n aanmoediger, soms selfs \u2019n taxibestuurder en eksamenvoorbereider. Hulle drink saam tee, huil oor gebroke verhoudings, pluis selfs ouers se kinkels uit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Petru skryf \u201ceen van die kosbaarste besittings wat \u2019n mens kan h\u00ea, is die vertroue van \u2019n kind. Hoe gebeur dit dat \u2019n kind jou so blindweg kan vertrou dat hy uit \u2019n boom sal spring as jy beloof om hom te vang?\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u2019n Ouma is vir haar kleindogter \u201cgeselskap en \u2019n vertroueling, \u2019n oppasser, \u2019n aanmoediger, soms selfs \u2019n taxibestuurder en eksamenvoorbereider<\/em><\/h4>\n

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Dis moeilik om die geheim van \u2019n sterk band tussen grootouer en kleinkind vas te vat.<\/p>\n

L\u00ea dit daarin dat hulle dikwels nie \u2019n huis deel nie en nie tyd het om vir mekaar moeg te word nie? Is dit omdat hulle in die kleinkind se ouers \u2019n \u201cgemeenskaplike vyand\u201d het? Hang dit af van wat oupas en oumas alles vir hul kleinkinders gee of doen?<\/p>\n

Baie grootouers erken dat hulle rustiger met hul kleinkinders omgaan as destyds met hul eie kroos. Hulle sien die groter prentjie en is minder veroordelend.<\/p>\n

\u201cBehalwe ideologiese verskille, kan daar ook leefstyl- en norm-verskille tussen grootouers en kleinkinders wees,\u201d s\u00ea Ida in \u2019n onderhoud. \u201cEk sou hartseer wees indien een van ons elf kleinkinders hulle aan een of ander vergryp skuldig maak. Maar sou dit gebeur, sal ek probeer om my oorlede ma se voorbeeld te volg: sy het een van haar minderjarige kleinkinders wat weggeloop het en later in \u2019n hawestad opgespoor is, by haar in die huis geneem en dieselfde behandel as die ander wat minder waaghalsig was.\u201d<\/p>\n

Die bekende uitspraak lui dat ons nog sal vergeet wat iemand ges\u00ea of gedoen het, maar nooit hoe hulle ons laat voel het nie. Dalk is dit liefde sonder voorwaardes \u2013 \u2019n grootouer se diepgaande begrip en die onwrikbare besluit om \u201caan die kleinkind se kant\u201d te wees – wat die deurslag gee.<\/p>\n

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Gefokusde aandag<\/h4>\n

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\u201cToe my kleinkinders gebore is, was ek en die meeste van my vriendinne werkende vroue,\u201d vertel Ida. \u201cOns kon nie ons kleinkinders \u2018help grootmaak\u2019 nie, maar moes smiddae en oor naweke kreatiewe maniere kry om deel van hul baba- en kleuterjare te wees.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hierdie maniere het \u2019n rits lekkertes van pieknieks tot kunsvlytprojekte ingesluit. En \u2019n goggalaai: \u201cKies die onderste laai van \u2019n kas en spuit die boom met \u2019n goeie insekdoder (om die parasiete wat op die insekte is, te ontmoedig om die skatte in jou laai op te vreet). Plaas \u2019n vel polistireen onderin. Steek \u2019n kopspeld deur die lyf van dooie kewers, skoenlappers of stokkiesgoggas wat aan natuurlike oorsake (of onnatuurlike oorsake buite jou beheer) dood is, en druk dit op die polistireen vas. As die kleinkinders kom kuier, sal hulle eerste die goggalaai wil sien! Lees na oor insekte en vertel vir die kinders wat hulle eet, of hulle gevaarlik is, en dies meer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ida se repertoire sluit \u201csandkoekies bak, sywurms ronddra en krieke vang in. Maar ek trek die streep as dit kom by wipplank ry, tou klim en spinnekoppe jag met die braaitang. En ek kan nie vir Oupa probeer kers vashou nie: hy speel \u2018vliegtuigie\u2019 deur die kinders aan \u2019n hand en \u2019n voet in die rondte te swaai en lanseer strelitzia-sade met die neus!\u201d<\/p>\n

Pret-ervarings met grootouers bevestig kinders se plek in \u2019n familie, skep geborgenheid, en gee hul eiewaarde \u2019n hupstoot. Dit verg tyd en energie, maar die loon is groot.<\/p>\n

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Pret-ervarings met grootouers bevestig kinders se plek in \u2019n familie, skep geborgenheid, en gee hul eiewaarde \u2019n hupstoot<\/em><\/h4>\n

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\u201cKlein kindertjies kan hulle so oorgee aan \u2019n omhelsing. Wanneer ek \u2019n kleinkind teen my vashou, probeer ek dit met al die wedersydse liefde, warmte en snoesigheid in my geheue inprent. Dit kom vir my die naaste aan ware geluk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Natuurlik is daar uitdagings. Soms stamp grootouers en kleinkinders koppe omdat hul persoonlikhede bots. Ouerskapkenner Hettie Brittz \u2013 Ida en Petru se dogter – se praktiese boekie Kortpad deur die Oerwoud<\/em> bevat insigte wat verhoudings makliker maak.<\/p>\n

Om kleinkinders ouderdomsgepas te hanteer, stryk ook probleme uit. As julle min kontak het, is dit moeiliker. Dan is dit raadsaam om oor \u2019n kleinkind se ontwikkelingstadium na te lees of by die ouers kers op te steek.<\/p>\n

Grootouers se band met kleinkinders \u00e9n hul ouers beteken drie stelle waardes, voorkeure en verwagtinge is op die spel. In die DVD-stel Immergroen Ouerskapwenke: fondasies vir ouers, stiefouers en grootouers verduidelik Hettie hoe hierdie potensi\u00eble mynveld benader kan word.<\/p>\n

\u201cDis baie belangrik om sinvolle grense te trek. Hiermee bedoel ek: wie se verantwoordelikheid is wat wanneer dit kom by die grootmaak van kinders en kleinkinders? Baie ouers kla dat grootouers \u2018inmeng\u2019.<\/p>\n

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\u201cDaar is \u2019n beginsel wat s\u00ea die hoeveelheid verantwoordelikheid wat jy aanvaar, gee jou \u2019n sekere hoeveelheid inspraak en regte. As ouers van grootouers verwag om die grootste deel van elke dag na kleinkinders te kyk, saam met hulle te gaan klere koop, langs die sportveld te sit, en naweke na hulle om te sien terwyl Pa en Ma gaan baljaar, gee hierdie ouers \u2018aandele weg\u2019. Hoewel hulle vir die dissipline en groot besluite verantwoordelik bly, moet die grense aangepas word. Dit vra \u2019n vriendelike maar ernstige gesprek waar twispunte soos slaaptye, eetgewoontes, huiswerk, waarheen kleinkinders mag gaan en so meer uitgespel moet word.\u201d<\/p>\n

Soos Petru dit stel, kan grootouers \u201cbrugbome\u201d wees, soos \u2019n boom wat \u2019n brug oor \u2019n stroom vorm. Grootouers wat hul eie kind se goeie eienskappe aan \u2019n kleinkind uitwys, versterk die band tussen ouer en kind. Die kragtigste brug, \u2019n liefdevolle verbintenis tussen twee harte, is maklik \u00e9n moeilik om te bou. Mag di\u00e9 met ouer harte die kuns al beter verstaan!<\/p>\n

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Lees ook:\u00a0<\/strong>Maak kinders met goeie waardes groot<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grootouers en kleinkinders se leefw\u00eareld verskil soms ingrypend. Wat help jou om \u2019n liefdesbrug te bou? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":163022,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[651,662],"tags":[134,3200,3307,23443,23444,29661,47277,47278],"class_list":["post-93611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-verhoudings","category-jou-lewe","tag-ouerskap","tag-grootouers","tag-kleinkinders","tag-relationships","tag-parenting","tag-well-being","tag-grandchildren","tag-grandparents"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDie pad na jou kleinkind se hart | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Grootouers en kleinkinders se leefw\u00eareld verskil soms ingrypend. Wat help jou om \u2019n liefdesbrug te bou? 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