{"id":91213,"date":"2018-02-02T13:32:20","date_gmt":"2018-02-02T11:32:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=91213"},"modified":"2018-02-13T08:48:55","modified_gmt":"2018-02-13T06:48:55","slug":"grieta-hoofstuk-34","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/grieta-hoofstuk-34\/","title":{"rendered":"Grieta, hoofstuk 34"},"content":{"rendered":"

– Deur Martie Swanepoel. Foto: Pixabay<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Die meeste mense loop diep binne hulself rond met \u2019n vrees vir kanker<\/a>. Nadat kanker die eerste keer in Magriet se lewe toegeslaan het, het sy altyd\u00a0\u2019n vae vrees gehad dat dit gaan terugkeer. Sy kon nooit met die siekte self vrede maak nie, net met die situasie van oorleef van dag tot dag.<\/p>\n

Vandat haar onkoloog die eerste keer na die moesie verwys het, het sy geweet. Die toetse en biopsie het dit net bevestig.<\/p>\n

Magriet het onverklaarbaar selfsugtig-beskermend teenoor die diagnose gevoel. Sy wou dit nie dadelik met die mense om haar deel nie. Sy wou die diep seer en vrees wat aan haar borsbeen vasgeanker het, eers vir\u00a0\u2019n ruk alleen ervaar.<\/p>\n

Met die eerste diagnose het sy angsbevange en huilend voor die dokter gesit. Di\u00e9 keer was dit asof sy in\u00a0\u2019n glasborrel vasgevang was.<\/p>\n

Terwyl sy gewag het, was dit asof sy in super fokus modus ingegaan het. Sy het na elke klein detail in die spreekkamer gekyk. Elke boekomslag wat donkie-ore gelees is, elke te\u00ebl wat gebars is, elke stoel wat skeef staan. Sy wou op alles fokus behalwe op die le\u00eb vakuum van vrees in haar.<\/p>\n

Sy wou nie die vo\u00ebls buite in die tuin hoor nie. Sy wou nie hoor hoe pasi\u00ebnte met gedempte stemme met mekaar gesels nie. Sy wou in haar glasborrel sit en wag. Die wagkamer was vol. Magriet het besef dat elkeen wat in\u00a0\u2019n onkoloog se spreekkamer sit en wag, met vrees daar sit. Sy het om haar rondgekyk.\u00a0\u2019n Bejaarde man met\u00a0\u2019n tweed-baadjie en sy das. Hy het skynbaar al\u00a0\u2019n suksesvolle lewe geleef. Langs hom was\u00a0\u2019n tenger jong vrou met\u00a0\u2019n kleuter. Sou sy oorleef om haar kind groot te kan maak? Die jong meisie in die rolstoel het haar oog gevang en sy het vir haar geknipoog. Die meisie was besig om armbandjies te vleg. Sy het een na Magriet uitgehou. \u201cKyk, dis so blou soos die see. Nes jou o\u00eb.\u201d Magriet het die bandjie om haar pols gebind. Sy het geweet sy sal dit nie weer afhaal nie.<\/p>\n

As\u00a0\u2019n spreekkamer volgepak is, en jou dokter skuif jou tussen ander pasi\u00ebnte in, is dit nie\u00a0\u2019n goeie teken nie.<\/p>\n

Fase vier melanoom. Die kanker het na ander dele van haar liggaam versprei. Na die brein, longe en ander organe. Weens die erns van die verspreiding was haar lewensverwagting twee tot sewe maande.<\/p>\n

Wat maak mens? Smeek jy die onkoloog vir uitstel? Wat van die oulike troue met die mooi blomme? Wat van die solovlug. Wat van Erik?<\/p>\n

Die dokter het haar\u00a0\u2019n pamfletjie in die hand gestop:<\/p>\n

\u201cCutaneous melanoma<\/strong>\u00a0is the most\u00a0aggressive<\/strong>\u00a0form of skin\u00a0cancer<\/strong>. When it has spread (metastatic cutaneous\u00a0melanoma<\/strong>), the prognosis is very poor.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSal jy met my eerlik wees?\u201d vra sy die dokter.<\/p>\n

\u201cSal enige behandeling help of gaan dit net my laaste dae ongemaklik maak?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJy weet ek kan dit nie vir jou antwoord nie. Gaan dink\u00a0 daaroor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sy het weer haar foon afgesit en koers gekry op snelwe\u00eb. Sy het deur klowe en tonnels gery. Party plekke het die mielies geil gegroei en toe kom daar plekke waar die aarde dor oopgebars was.<\/p>\n

By\u00a0\u2019n plek waar die kroonlande v\u00ear voor haar uitgestrek was, het sy stilgehou en net getuur. Daar was absoluut geen gedagtes in haar kop nie. Net\u00a0\u2019n leegheid wat soos\u00a0\u2019n baksteen in haar bors l\u00ea.<\/p>\n

Jaco, sy het geweet sy is eintlik op pad na hom toe om vir hom te gaan s\u00ea sy ou neurotiese ma gaan nie meer vir lank aan hom voors\u00ea wat om te doen nie. Jaco sal hartseer wees en sy sal hom styf vashou en sus soos toe hy klein was en hy bang was vir die monster onder sy bed.<\/p>\n

Sy sal v\u00ear ente saam met haar kind op die strand gaan stap. Hulle sal waarskynlik oor niks praat nie. Sy sal mooi skulpies optel en hy sal plat klippers oor die see gooi dat dit so hop hop.<\/p>\n

Hoe sal sy vir Erik s\u00ea?<\/p>\n

Met haar borskanker het sy in fases baie erg met God baklei. Maar di\u00e9 keer is sy nog kwater vir Hom. Sy het regtig gevoel sy verdien dit nie. Noudat sy uiteindelik liefde gevind het, nou word haar paadjie kortgeknip.<\/p>\n

Sy het daardie dag in die onkoloog se spreekkamer na die mense om haar gekyk. Wie van hulle verdien om dood te gaan? Elkeen het geliefdes. Wat van die jong mamma met die kleuter? Verdien sy nie om haar kind groot te maak nie? Die jong meisie met die armbandjies? Daar was iets in daardie kind se o\u00eb wat haar lot aanvaar het.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, gee my ook daardie vrede,\u201d het Magriet gebid na die hemele wat skielik so vreeslik hoog gevoel het.<\/p>\n

Haar motor het deur die Karoo koers gekies Kaap toe. Sy het na die landskappe gekyk asof sy dit die eerste keer sien.<\/p>\n

Iewers langs die pad het ou herinneringe losgebreek. Sy kon onthou toe sy as klein dogtertjie op die agterstoep gesit wonder het of haar ma haar regtig liefhet. Dit was nadat sy gehoor het hoe haar ma vir tant Anet s\u00ea, \u201cMagriet is maar\u00a0\u2019n vaal enetjie, soos haar ouma.\u201d Vir haar ma was haar sus Louise altyd die uitblinker. In\u00a0\u2019n vlaag van pity party <\/em>het Magriet aan elke laagtepunt van haar lewe gedink. Dit was asof al die boelies en mislike ou dogtertjies in\u00a0\u2019n ry gestaan het. Heel op die punt het Claudia vir haar gestaan en tong uitsteek.<\/p>\n

Magriet het geweet dit is sy wat haar brein toelaat om in negatiwiteit vasgevang te word, maar daar was\u00a0\u2019n soort bevredigende gevoel uit die selfbejammering. Die deurlopende boodskap was vir haar dat sy wat Magriet is, nie verdien om aan kanker te sterf nie. Sy verdien om gelukkig te wees, soos in die sprokies, vir ewig en altyd gelukkig.<\/p>\n

Selfbejammering put mens uit. Magriet het haarself in\u00a0\u2019n gastehuis in Kuruman ingeboek en in\u00a0\u2019n diep, droomlose slaap verval.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As\u00a0\u2019n spreekkamer volgepak is, en jou dokter skuif jou tussen ander pasi\u00ebnte in, is dit nie\u00a0\u2019n goeie teken nie …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":91215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43452,3476],"tags":[1258,1393,1471,3230,23450],"class_list":["post-91213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lees","category-ontspanning","tag-lees","tag-books","tag-kortverhale","tag-vervolgverhale","tag-entertainment"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGrieta, hoofstuk 34 | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As\u00a0\u2019n spreekkamer volgepak is, en jou dokter skuif jou tussen ander pasi\u00ebnte in, is dit nie\u00a0\u2019n goeie teken nie ... 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