{"id":6129,"date":"2023-02-15T10:14:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-15T08:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rooirose.dvlp.site\/jou-dogter-se-selfwaarde\/"},"modified":"2023-02-15T10:15:37","modified_gmt":"2023-02-15T08:15:37","slug":"jou-dogter-se-selfwaarde","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/jou-dogter-se-selfwaarde\/","title":{"rendered":"Kweek gesonde selfwaarde by jou dogter"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wat is selfwaarde?<\/strong>
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nOns het almal prentjies oor onsself in ons kop \u2013 dit word ons \u201cselfbeeld\u201d genoem.<\/p>\n

\u2019n Selfbeeld word van kleins af gevorm deur ervarings van die w\u00eareld om ons. Selfwaarde is die waarde-oordeel wat ons oor ons selfbeeld fel en \u2019n belangrike deel van emosionele gesondheid. Selfwaarde sluit selfvertroue en selfaanvaarding in.<\/p>\n

Halle Berry<\/strong> is tagtig persent doof in een oor nadat haar gewese man haar aangerand het. Helen Mirren<\/strong> was\u00a0\u2019n \u201cpaar maal\u201d die slagoffer van afspraakverkragting. \u201cMy lae dink van myself het nog altyd my keuse van mans – dikwels gewelddadige mans – be\u00efnvloed,\u201d s\u00ea Halle. Meryl Streep<\/strong>, Will Smith<\/strong> en wyle John Lennon<\/strong>, het almal erken hulle sukkel om hulself na waarde te skat.<\/p>\n

Skoonheid of besondere talent is geen waarborg vir \u2019n gesonde selfwaarde of selfbeeld nie. \u201cSelfwaarde het niks daarmee te doen of jy mooi of slim is of nie,\u201d het Halle onlangs aan die New York Times ges\u00ea. \u201cDit hang alles af van hoe jy grootgemaak is, hoe jy as kind behandel is, en wie jy in jou lewe het.\u201d Jane*, \u2019n 41-jarige bedryfsingenieur van Kaapstad, stem saam. Sy s\u00ea haar lae selfwaarde het haar \u2019n slagoffer van afspraakverkragting gemaak, iets wat haar byna laat selfmoord pleeg het.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy ouers se huwelik was ook konflikbelaai en ek het altyd gevoel dat hulle oor my baklei. Ek was sieklik, wat druk op ons gesin geplaas het. Dit het erger geword toe puberteit my tref. My pa het my meestal heeltemal ge\u00efgnoreer, ongeag hoeveel sportbekers of akademiese toekennings ek gewen het. Ek was nooit goed genoeg nie.\u201d Halle het meermale erken hoe naby haar lae sin van selfwaarde haar aan selfmoord gebring het. In 2004 het sy vir die Amerikaanse kletskoningin Oprah ges\u00ea \u201cdat sy nooit, nooit weer in haar lewe gaan trou nie\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cVroue met lae selfwaarde is meer dikwels slagoffers van gesinsgeweld,\u201d skryf die bekende Britse sielkundige dr. Linda Papadopoulous in haar boek The Sexualisation of Young People<\/em>. \u201cDis ook \u2019n hoofrede waarom tienermeisies te vroeg seksueel aktief raak en alles in hul vermo\u00eb doen om k\u00earels te behou, selfs al raak die verhoudings onaangenaam, of word hulle in die proses mishandel.\u201d Veral in Suid-Afrika kry vroue swaar. Die media is vol berigte oor eggenote of k\u00earels wat vroue wreedaardig vermoor, aanrand of verkrag. Ons het \u2019n kultuur van seksuele geweld waarin vroue die slagoffers van sosio-politieke woede en frustrasie is, meen die Sentrum vir Geweld en Versoening<\/strong> in Johannesburg. Wat is die gemene deler?<\/p>\n

Jane dink die manier waarop\u00a0kinders grootgemaak word en geslagsrolle in ons samelewing speel \u2019n groot rol. \u201cEk was agttien en op universiteit, toe \u2019n aantreklike, ouer student my uitnooi om \u2019n dag by \u2019n familie strandhuis deur te bring. Almal was verlief op hom. Ek was baie onervare en na\u00efef en kon nie glo dat hy m\u00fd uitvra nie. Die strandhuis was idillies en ons het later die dag intiem begin raak. Toe dinge te ver begin gaan, het ek halt geroep.”<\/p>\n

\u201cAanvanklik wou hy nie glo dat ek \u2019n maagd was nie. Hy wou my leer. Ek het voet by stuk gehou ek wil nie so ver gaan nie. In \u2019n stadium het ek regop gesit om te gaan. Hy het my net platgedruk en terwyl ek nog tot verhaal gekom het, was hy op my \u2026 Alles het vinnig gebeur. \u201cDit was ontsettend seer en ek het letterlik versteen. Ek het nie geskree of gespartel nie. Ek was net bewus van die pyn. Toe hy klaar was, het hy nonchalant ges\u00ea dat hy my nou gewys het hoe om \u2019n vrou te wees en gevra of ek dit geniet het.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jane was te skaam om enigiemand te vertel. Sy kon nie onthou of hy \u2019n kondoom gebruik het nie. In skok, seer, en vol angs het sy haar sosiaal onttrek. \u201cMy grootste vrees was dat my ouers of familie sou uitvind. Angs en skuld het aan my begin wurg.\u201d Kort hierna het die paniekaanvalle begin en die swart hond van depressie\u00a0het haar getakel. Sy het haar vinger in haar keel begin druk. Selfwalging het oorgegaan in selfhaat, totdat sy een aand vier uur lank met \u2019n huismaat se rewolwer in haar hande gesit het … \u201cIets het my daarvan weerhou om daardie aand die sneller te trek, miskien omdat ek kort tevore vir Koos ontmoet het.<\/p>\n

Hy het\u00a0sommer gou pront gevra: \u2018Wat het met jou gebeur\u2019?\u201d Hy het haar gedwing om hulp te soek. Jane en Koos is al 14 jaar getroud en het twee dogters. N\u00e1 jare van psigoterapie, meditasie en joga, het Jane vrede gemaak met die lewe. Sy is opgelei as \u2019n verkragtingsberader en werk soms by \u2019n traumasentrum. \u201cOm ander te help, help my.\u201d Jane dink lae selfwaarde maak vroue meer kwetsbaar vir \u201cgevaarlike en ongenaakbare mans\u201d.<\/p>\n

Meisies\u00a0word grootgemaak om saam te stem, om mooi te lyk. Wanneer hulle sterk menings het, word hulle maklik as \u201caggressief\u201d of \u201clesbies\u201d uitgekryt. Toe Jane se dogters wou ballet neem, het sy ges\u00ea net as hulle ook \u2019n Oosterse gevegskuns neem. \u201cHulle moet hul man kan staan.\u201d Sy glimlag wrang oor die idioom. \u201cIn ons huis slaan ons baie ag op hoe ons met mekaar praat.\u201d Boeliegedrag van \u2019n man teenoor sy vrou, of broers teenoor susters, plant die saadjies van \u2019n swak selfbeeld. Meisies swig voor slegte ouens, want hulle ken hulle. Hulle het immers saam met hulle grootgeword.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoe sterker jou dogter voel oor wie en wat sy is, hoe sterker\u00a0word haar selfbeeld en hoe weerbaarder word sy.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kweek gesonde selfwaarde by jou kind.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Vertel haar haar familiegeskiedenis <\/strong>
\nTrek saam \u2019n familiestamboom op om haar \u2019n gevoel van kontinu\u00efteit en verankering binne \u2019n wyer ondersteuningsnetwerk te gee.<\/p>\n

Begin vroeg om haar positiewe mylpale te beklemtoon <\/strong>
\nKinders wat negatief oor hulself voel, vergeet gou wat hulle reeds bereik het. Hou chronologiese plakboeke van haar tekeninge, eerste geskrifte, foto\u2019s, belangstellings. Dis pret en vir kinders heerlik om deur oues te blaai.<\/p>\n

Bepaal haar talente <\/strong>
\nOntwikkel dit aktief en gee haar so \u2019n sin van vaardigheid.<\/p>\n

Bepaal haar tekortkominge <\/strong>
\n… en werk doelgerig daaraan.<\/p>\n

Skep familierituele <\/strong>
\nDit versterk jou kind se sin van identiteit.<\/p>\n

Help haar om ander te help<\/strong>
\nMense wat ander help, is gelukkiger as mense wat net op hulself gerig is. Help jou kind om \u2019n welsynsgroep te \u201ckies\u201d en vir hulle geld in te samel. Jonger kinders kan koekies bak en verkoop, of ou klere insamel. Ouer kinders kan soms by die welsynsgroep gaan uithelp. Hulle sal verantwoordelik voel en trots daarop dat hulle iets vir iemand kan beteken.<\/p>\n

Buitengewoon is goed<\/strong>
\nMoedig haar aan om haarself te wees. Baie ouers wil h\u00ea hul kinders moet inpas en nie uitstaan nie. Dit kan tot onsekerheid, swak loopbaankeuses, \u2019n tekort aan waagmoed en selfgeloof lei.<\/p>\n

Leer haar besluit wat reg is vir haar<\/strong>
\nHaar drome mag nooit verydel word deur vrese oor wat ander van haar dink nie.<\/p>\n

Moedig haar aan om by jeuggroepe buite skoolverband aan te sluit<\/strong>
\n\u2019n Omgewingsgroep bring haar in kontak met die natuur, waar sy vaardighede en groepsamewerking kan aanleer.<\/p>\n

Laat sy \u2019n boek oor haarself skryf, of dagboek hou <\/strong>
\nDit help haar om haarself as unieke mens te definieer en van haar eie behoeftes en voorkeure bewus te word. Moedig jonger kinders aan om prentjies van hulself te teken en \u2019n lys te maak van dinge waarvan hulle hou en
\nnie hou nie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lees ook:\u00a0&#8216;n Veiligheidsgids vir jou kind se eerste slimfoon<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wat is selfwaarde? Ons het almal prentjies oor onsself in ons kop \u2013 dit word ons \u201cselfbeeld\u201d genoem. \u2019n Selfbeeld word van kleins af gevorm deur ervarings van die w\u00eareld om ons. Selfwaarde is die waarde-oordeel wat ons oor ons […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":135940,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[679],"tags":[134,135,136],"class_list":["post-6129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ouerskap","tag-ouerskap","tag-verhoudings","tag-gesondheid"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKweek gesonde selfwaarde by jou dogter | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jou selfwaarde word deur verskeie faktore gevorm, onder meer die manier waarop jy grootgemaak word. 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