{"id":60592,"date":"2016-10-20T12:04:22","date_gmt":"2016-10-20T10:04:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=60592"},"modified":"2018-07-03T12:34:32","modified_gmt":"2018-07-03T10:34:32","slug":"zap-die-jakkalsies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/zap-die-jakkalsies\/","title":{"rendered":"Zap die jakkalsies"},"content":{"rendered":"

As mens mooi gereformeerd grootgemaak is en boonop \u2019n skuins Calvinistiese wil-niemand-aanstoot-gee-nie klap weg het, dan het mens soms \u2019n bykomende hulpmiddel nodig om te keer dat alledaagse klein jakkalsies jou sorgvuldig gekultiveerde welwillendheidswingerd wegvreet.<\/p>\n

My geheime wapen is \u2019n verbeelding-zapper-geweer.<\/p>\n

Dis ideaal vir iemand wat \u2019n hele trop irritasies met een skoot wil platvee, maar eintlik nie genoeg energie-ammunisie het vir \u2019n volskaalse konflik nie. Vredeliewende wese wat ek is, sal ek dus met \u2019n hoflike, dog effe onderstebo glimlaggie oogkontak met die rower van my bon homie<\/em>-oomblik maak, maar in my kop sal \u2019n hondsdol ruimtewese grynslaggend \u2019n sekure sarsie verdamp-voor-my-aangesig koe\u00ebls loslaat.<\/p>\n

As oud-joernalis wat al \u2019n paar grusame ongelukstonele moes besoek, en ook as \u2019n ma van twee, is my eerste zapper-teiken op \u2019n Blou Maandag in skoolverkeer gewoonlik ouers wat hulle kosbare vrag sommer so loslit of op-die-skoot in die motor vervoer. \u2019n Heel gesellige vroegoggend-prentjie. Maar, weet julle hoe lyk \u2019n tweejarige wat teen 60 km\/h vanaf die agtersitplek teen \u2019n voorruit vasgeslinger is? Of \u2019n 8-jarige wat op die voorste sitplek deur \u2019n lugsak vermink is? Alsbehalwe \u2019n gesellige prentjie.<\/p>\n

So maak vas jou kinders, magtag, al ry jy “net kafee toe”. As jou kinders vrolik rondhop op die sitplek, g\u00e1\u00e1n ek jou zap – vinniger as die blou manne met hulle duur paparazzi-foto’s in die pos. Dis jou plig om jou kinders te beskerm, doen dit.<\/p>\n

My tweede weeklikse teiken is gewoonlik die lewensruimte-rower. Daai soustannie wat jou sommer so via \u2019n volronde boesem vyf tree vorentoe help in \u2019n winkeltou. Tannie, my ma het my geleer dat ek “Nee!” mag roep as iemand vir my die n\u00e9\u00e9-gevoel gee. Maar, hoe sal dit nou klink as ek elke 15 sekondes kliphard “Nee!” gil in die supermarktou? Die sekuriteitswag sal my minus my brood, melk en koerant mos sonder seremonie die winkel by die winkel uitmasjeer.<\/p>\n

Dan kry ek ook gereeld die borrelgomblaser. Iemand wat duidelik skool bunk<\/em> vir die dag en seker sy maandelikse geskenkbewys van Chappies by die poskantoor kom haal. Maar, Ol’ Chap, as jy weer waag om \u2019n gomborrel in my ruimteborrel te blaas, s\u00e1l ek summier die zapper inspan om die borrel oor jou nonchalante herkouende gevriet te laat bars en in jou koel jel-kuifie te laat verstrengel. M\u00f3\u00e9nie in my rigting oorborrel nie.<\/p>\n

Dan het ek, effe obsessief-kompulsief as dit kom by higi\u00ebne, ook \u2019n broertjie \u2013 of is dit bra\u2019tjie? – dood aan die vriendelike kasregisteroperateur wat my my kaarttransaksie wil laat beklink deur \u2019n balpuntpen uit haar boonste kantgoedjies te haal sodat ek op die stippellyn kan teken. N\u00e9\u00e9, n\u00e9\u00e9, N\u00c9\u00c9!<\/p>\n

Maar, nou sal julle eers moet wag tot die sekuriteitspersoneel my na daai uitbarsting weer toelaat in die mall<\/em> voor ek julle van die res van my zapper-slagoffers kan vertel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Blog deur Ina Genade. Foto Pexels<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":60609,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[682,55176,3476],"tags":[1835],"class_list":["post-60592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs","category-ina-genade","category-ontspanning","tag-blogger"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nZap die jakkalsies | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/zap-die-jakkalsies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Zap die jakkalsies | rooi rose\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Blog deur Ina Genade. 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