{"id":60010,"date":"2016-10-14T13:31:54","date_gmt":"2016-10-14T11:31:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=60010"},"modified":"2016-11-18T12:16:04","modified_gmt":"2016-11-18T10:16:04","slug":"die-hoe-van-blommetjies-en-bytjies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/die-hoe-van-blommetjies-en-bytjies\/","title":{"rendered":"Die hoe van blommetjies en bytjies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHoewel ek my as \u2019n moderne, ge\u00ebmansipeerde pa beskou en \u2019n oop deur-beleid met my kinders het (dit staan hulle vry om met my oor enigiets te praat), bly ek steeds effe lomp as dit by seksvoorligting kom.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiskien het ons ou Calvinistiese opvoeding met al sy taboes iets daarmee te doen. Derhalwe was die \u2018blommetjies-en-bytjies\u2019-praatjies met albei ons kinders merendeels hul ma se verantwoordelikheid. Onder deesdae se kinders is dit in elk geval nie meer so \u2019n vreeslike geheim waar babatjies vandaan kom nie.<\/p>\n

Die oorvloed verwysings na seks in die media \u2013 in woord en beeld \u2013 het baie met \u2019n vroe\u00ebr geslagsbewustheid te doen, en ook die herrie rondom MIV\/vigs en die opvoedingsprogramme by skole. Ek dink kinders is op \u2019n jong ouderdom reeds baie meer ingelig oor seks as wat ons destyds was.<\/p>\n

\u201cLanelle het destyds eendag besluit om vir Robert (toe so sewe of agt) die \u2018Big Talk\u2019 te gee. Toe sy die onderwerp aanroer, het hy sy o\u00eb hemelwaarts geslaan en ewe verveeld ges\u00ea: \u2018Ag nee, tog net nie weer seks nie. Ek is al moeg vir seks.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Behalwe natuurlik die seksopvoeding by die skool, was sy eerste kennismaking met die feite van die lewe \u2019n klassieke bron: die ouer maatjie wat jou alles vertel. Di\u00e9 het weer die inligting by sy ouer boetie gekry.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMet Helena het ons gevind dat dit met meisietjies nie veel anders is nie. Sy en haar maatjies giggel tog te lekker oor die manewales van hul TV-heldinne, die nimlike mejuffroue Montana en Gomez, wat verbete kys en soen en uitmaak met hul k\u00earels. Nugter weet waaroor ons dogtertjies alles vir mekaar fluister …<\/p>\n

\u201cLanelle het haar darem al op \u2019n saaklike, dog sensitiewe manier verduidelik wat die basiese seksfeite behels. Ons het ook \u2019n baie oulike DVD aangeskaf met die naam The Human Body<\/em> \u2013 \u2019n BBC-reeks oor die wonder van die ontstaan en verloop van die lewe. Die grafika en gegewens word uitstekend aangebied. Ek kan dit regtig aanbeveel.<\/p>\n

\u201cDie fisieke feite van voortplanting is maar net een aspek van die groter prentjie. So ook die gevolge van onverskillige seks, soos ongewenste swangerskappe en siektes. Jy kan sulke goed op \u2019n feitelike manier verduidelik, en ek reken ook dis beter om dit eerder vroe\u00ebr as later te doen.<\/p>\n

\u201cDie moeilike deel, skat ek, is om die allerbelangrike emosionele komponent aan hulle tuis te bring. Jy moet hulle maar bewus maak daarvan dat seks nie bloot \u2019n fisieke daad is nie, maar \u2019n diep bevredigende, mooi en wonderlike emosionele ervaring om met iemand te deel. Op watter ouderdom hulle ryp sou wees vir so \u2019n gesprek, moet jy seker maar net raai \u2013 jy wil hulle nie te gou onnodig nuuskierig maak nie, maar darem ook nie so lank wag dat hulle miskien op die ou end seerkry nie.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019n Gesprek wat ek wel maklik met Robert gehad het, was die een oor \u2018pasop vir los meisies\u2019. Sy o\u00eb het gans te veel geblink na my sin, so ek hou maar duim vas. En sodra Helena oud genoeg is, gaan ek haar alles vertel wat ek weet van \u2018rowwe seuns\u2019. En vir haar \u2019n haelgeweer, \u2019n skokstok en \u2019n klomp botteltjies pepersproei koop …<\/p>\n

Cindy Taylor, \u2019n kopieskrywer van Johannesburg, s\u00ea sy het lank beplan aan wat sy alles vir haar 13-jarige dogter wou s\u00ea. Maar toe gebeur die lewe.<\/p>\n

\u201cToe \u2019n vyfjarige meisietjie sir Noel Coward eendag vra wat presies dit was wat twee parende honde aan\u2019t doen was, het hy geantwoord: \u2018Die voorste hondjie het skielik blind geword, en die agterste hondjie was gaaf genoeg om aan te bied om hom al die pad na St. Dunstan te stoot.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOngelukkig het \u2019n ouer maatjie my kind \u2019n paar jaar gelede, toe sy nog net nege was, ingelig oor seks. Nie op \u2019n feite-van-die-lewe manier nie, maar op \u2019n pornografiese rolprentdraaiboek-manier, kompleet met tekeninge wat die Kama Sutra<\/em> na \u2019n kinderboek laat lyk het.<\/p>\n

\u201cEn dit terwyl ek dinge so anders wou verduidelik wanneer die tyd reg was! Ek wou dit op die wonderlike manier doen waarop my ma dit gedoen het toe ek \u2019n kind was, en het selfs al twee uitstekende boeke gekoop: Robie Harris se It\u2019s So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies and Families<\/em> en It\u2019s Perfectly Normal: A Book About Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health<\/em>. En ek wou vir haar die belangrikheid van liefde en respek verduidelik as dit by seks kom, en die waarskuwende raad gee van Philip von Munching: \u2018Seuns sal jou op \u2019n voetstuk sit \u2013 net sodat hulle onder jou rok kan inloer.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cEk wou nie h\u00ea sy moes die hele seksding saamgehoop in \u2019n aaklige bondel kry nie. En dit boonop soos \u2019n klap in die gesig. Hoe sou ek nou ooit weer vir haar Engelse slaaptydstories kon lees van prinsesse en horny toads<\/em>? Sy het immers nou al \u2019n hele ander interpretasie\u00a0gehoor van die woord \u2018horny\u2019…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ek en sy het albei \u2019n bietjie gekroek gevoel deur die hele aff\u00eare van te gou, te veel en boonop van \u2019n maatjie af. <\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Ek is seker maar baie outyds, maar ek wou nog net \u2019n bietjie langer wag en haar vir net nog \u2019n rukkie langer \u2019n klein dogtertjie hou. Ek sou graag vir nog \u2019\u2019n jaar of so die Noel Coward Skool van Noodleuentjies se metode wou volg, maar die skade was gedaan en ek moes vir haar die feite gegee. So, ek is biblioteek toe om een van daardie boeke te kry oor anatomie wat die lagies vel wys met die verskillende spiere, organe en skelet netjies daaronder. En toe begin ek al die korrekte woorde soos vagina en baarmoeder en die hele vroulike voortplantingsproses verduidelik.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaar toe ek by die seksdeel kom, en die woord \u2018penis\u2019 gebruik \u2013 op Engels uitgespreek, want ons huistaal is Engels – het sy dubbel gevou van die lag. En net al harder gegiggel toe ek verduidelik dat dit nie \u2018pee-ness\u2019 gespel word nie! Nodeloos om te s\u00ea, maar ons les vir die dag was verby.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaar nie voor ek die enigste stukkie seksopvoeding wat ek en my broers en susters ooit by my pa gekry het aan haar oorgedra het nie. Hy het \u2019n stukkie koerantpapier gevat, dit oor sy oop bierbotteltjie se bek gesit en die papier vinnig met sy pen se punt gesteek. Toe hou hy die papier in die lug dat ons die gat moet sien, en s\u00ea: \u2018As dit eers geskeur is, kan niks dit weer heelmaak nie.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cO ja, en toe het ek sommer ook vir haar vertel dat seuns boggertjies is. Hulle sal enigiets doen om \u2019n meisie uit haar broekie te kry. En as hulle dit regkry, sal hulle loop en spog daarmee. Teenoor almal. En dat dit hartseer is, maar \u2019n feit.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Valiant Swart is, soos ons lesers lankal weet uit sy rubrieke, \u2019n baie betrokke pa. En boonop heel cool, volgens sy twee kinders! Hoe het hy en sy vrou Lanelle seksvoorligting hanteer? Ons gesels ook met \u2019n ma van Johannesburg en sy vertel hoe die lewe haar met di\u00e9 onderwerp voorgespring het. Deur Ilse Salzwedel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":60012,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[679,662],"tags":[46,3202],"class_list":["post-60010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ouerskap","category-jou-lewe","tag-raad","tag-seksvoorligting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDie hoe van blommetjies en bytjies | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/die-hoe-van-blommetjies-en-bytjies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Die hoe van blommetjies en bytjies | rooi rose\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Valiant Swart is, soos ons lesers lankal weet uit sy rubrieke, \u2019n baie betrokke pa. En boonop heel cool, volgens sy twee kinders! Hoe het hy en sy vrou Lanelle seksvoorligting hanteer? Ons gesels ook met \u2019n ma van Johannesburg en sy vertel hoe die lewe haar met di\u00e9 onderwerp voorgespring het. Deur Ilse Salzwedel.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/die-hoe-van-blommetjies-en-bytjies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"rooi rose\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/rooirose\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-10-14T11:31:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-11-18T10:16:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Seks03-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"400\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"543\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nicole Kemp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@rooi_rose\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@rooi_rose\" 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