{"id":51549,"date":"2016-06-08T13:24:09","date_gmt":"2016-06-08T11:24:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=51549"},"modified":"2016-06-08T13:24:09","modified_gmt":"2016-06-08T11:24:09","slug":"om-n-telerobot-te-tart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/om-n-telerobot-te-tart\/","title":{"rendered":"Om \u2019n telerobot te tart"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Min dinge wat my s\u00f3 omge\u00ebllie kry as wanneer die selfoon lui, \u201c<em>Unknown<\/em>\u201d oor die skerm flits en ek teen my beterwete in antwoord en begroet word met \u2019n aarselende stilte voor \u2019n robotagtige stem met \u2019n swaar aksent s\u00ea: \u201c<em>Good day, may I please speak to Missus J\u00ea-nyd?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oombliklik is ek vies vir myself.<\/p>\n<p>Maar, \u2019n ma antwoord mos maar altyd haar foon \u2013 \u2019n mens weet nooit of daar dalk \u2019n noodgeval met een van die kinders is nie.<\/p>\n<p>Di\u00e9 viesgeit haal ek dan uit op die robotstem deur bitsig te beklemtoon: \u201cJa, dit is mevrou Ge-naaaa-de. Kan ek help?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In die meeste gevalle word \u2019n telerobot egter nie deur \u2019n bietjie bitsigheid afgeskrik nie en die rympie begin van voor af.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Good morning, Missus Ge-ny-de. And how are you today?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Not at all in the mood to talk to you<\/em>, dink ek by myselwers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKan ek help?\u201d antwoord ek dan onhulpvaardig in die hoop dat die robot sal snap dat ek nie tyd of lus het vir telepraatjies nie.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Ma\u2019am, it is my pleasure to tell you that, as our most valued customer\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEk het regtig nie nou tyd nie, wat wil jy aan my verkoop?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>No, this is by no means a marketing call, Ma\u2019am, we are simply calling you to tell you\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAsseblief, ek het regtig nie nou tyd nie,\u201d probeer ek gewoonlik weer die draaiboekteks kortknip.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Should I call you back another time, Ma\u2019am?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Ja, oor so 75 jaar?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cEk stel regtig nie belang nie, jammer, hoor!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>But, Ma\u2019am, I have not even\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLekker dag. Tot siens.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Natuurlik sal my Calvinistiese streep my dan \u2019n oomblik laat skuldig voel omdat ek so kort en kragtig kortaf was en die foon doodgedruk het. Waar\u2019s my maniere \u2026?<\/p>\n<p>Tot die foon weer lui, \u2019n paar uur later.<\/p>\n<p>Hierdie keer \u2019n nommer met \u2019n Kaapse kode. Getrou antwoord ek maar weer.<\/p>\n<p>Dis telerobot se kloon.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Good afternoon, Missus Grenade\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ek sien in my geestesoog hoe ek die pennetjie uittrek en dit soos \u2019n handgranaat weg slinger.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKan. Ek. Help?\u201d vra ek \u2013 al wil ek nie \u2019n blou duiwel help met enigiets nie.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>No, Ma\u2019am, but I can help you! If I can borrow five minutes of your time, I would love to tell you\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In hierdie stadium is ek reeds goed vies dat ek my so laat stoomroller en ek antwoord: \u201cHet jou onderwyser jou nie die verskil tussen \u2018<em>can<\/em>\u2019 en \u2018<em>may<\/em>\u2019 geleer nie?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stilte aan die anderkant.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEn, mag ek vra hoe jy weer die vyf minute vir my gaan terug gee nadat jy dit geleen het?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Swaarder stilte.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Uhm, Ma\u2019am. If I could just\u2026 maybe\u2026 please tell you quickly about, uhm, our\u2026<\/em>\u201d probeer die robot, nou effe van stryk, weer die drade bymekaar kry.<\/p>\n<p>Ek voel weer so \u2019n sweempie van skuld. Sjym. Hy doen maar net sy werk.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>What do you want to sell me?<\/em>\u201d vra ek in \u2019n poging om hom enersyds nie t\u00e9 sleg te laat voel oor my afjak nie, maar andersyds om hom steeds te oorreed om eerder iemand anders te bel.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>I would like to tell you about our excellent life insurance policy, Ma\u2019am!<\/em>\u201d rammel hy af terwyl hy nou die kans kry.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWil j\u00fd nie eerder by m\u00fd \u2019n lewensversekeringspolis uitneem nie?\u201d vra ek voor ek behoorlik dink wat ek s\u00ea.<\/p>\n<p>Stilte.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Eh\u2026 what do you mean, Ma\u2019am?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Don\u2019t you rather want to buy a policy from me?<\/em>\u201d vra ek weer sonder om regtig te weet wat ek volgende gaan kwytraak.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Uhm, why, Ma\u2019am\u2026?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWant myne is beter as joune,\u201d antwoord ek.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Why do you say that, Ma\u2019am?<\/em>\u201d vra die telerobot terwyl ek die ratte kan hoor draai.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWant ek is nog nie dood nie, sien? Myne werk uitstekend!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Stilte.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Have a nice day, Ma\u2019am.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kliek.<\/p>\n<p>Ek kyk verbaas na die gehoorstuk in my hand.<\/p>\n<p>Het \u2019n telebemarker sopas die foon in m\u00fd oor neergesit \u2026?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Min dinge wat my s\u00f3 omge\u00ebllie kry as wanneer die selfoon lui, \u201cUnknown\u201d oor die skerm flits en ek teen my beterwete in antwoord en begroet word met \u2019n aarselende stilte voor \u2019n robotagtige stem met \u2019n swaar aksent s\u00ea: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":51554,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[682],"tags":[1835,4396,35,106],"class_list":["post-51549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs","tag-blogger","tag-ontspanning","tag-blogs","tag-ina-genade-se-blog"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Om \u2019n telerobot te tart | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/om-n-telerobot-te-tart\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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