{"id":46866,"date":"2026-01-30T17:23:47","date_gmt":"2026-01-30T15:23:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=46866"},"modified":"2026-02-02T14:02:56","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T12:02:56","slug":"hou-meer-van-jouself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/hou-meer-van-jouself\/","title":{"rendered":"Hou meer van jouself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cVerbeel jou jy hou twee babas in jou arms. Hulle gaan eindelik verskillende tale praat en verskillend lyk, maar nou kyk hulle diep in jou o\u00eb en maak babageluidjies. Watter een verdien meer liefde, aandag en respek as die ander?\u201d<\/p>\n

S\u00f3 skryf Fabienne Fredrickson in \u201cEmbrace your magnificence\u201d (Hay House, 2014).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ons is nie meer babas nie, maar ons het steeds daardie ingebore waarde wat deur niemand betwis kan word nie. Ongelukkig leer ons op baie maniere ons is nie goed genoeg nie. Die kuns is om ons waarde te herontdek en te glo ons het \u2018n doel om uit te leef. Hier is \u2018n paar riglyne uit \u201cEmbrace your magnificence\u201d:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ander kyk deur \u2019n bril<\/h4>\n

Van kleins af meet ons ons aan ander se oordele. Dis nie slim nie: ander se eie persepsies, vrese, vooroordele, en oortuigings is die filter waardeur hulle ons beskou. Selfs jou nabymense ken net \u2018n deel van jou. Hulle opinie is nooit volkome objektief nie. As jy jou eiewaarde daarop basseer, grond jy dit op \u2018n foutiewe waarneming. Die enigste mens wat 24 uur per dag met jou saamleef en jou hart en gedagtes ken, is jy. Jy is die een wat kan besluit jy is diep binne \u2018n goeie mens wat die goeie verdien.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

(Foto: Presley Ann\/Getty Images for Fortune’s Most Powerful Women Summit)<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jy kyk deur \u2019n bril<\/h4>\n

\u2019n Spesifieke gebeurtenis kan nie van jou \u2019n slegte\/onaanvaarbare mens maak nie. As \u2019n tiener het Fabienne van \u2018n seun gehou en by \u2018n skoolfunksie \u2019n paar keer met hom probeer gesels, maar hy het nie belang gestel nie. Sy het besluit sy is onaanvaarbaar en jare lank geglo as sy iemand nader, sal hulle haar verwerp \u2013 selfs in die werksopset. Later het sy besef sy het nie al die inligting oor die seun en sy optrede gehad nie. Dalk het hy reeds \u2019n meisie gehad; dalk was hy baie skaam; dalk was hy gay. Sy stel voor dat ons \u2019n situasie \u201creframe\u201d of herdefinieer.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Wat het gebeur, wat is die feite?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
      \n
    1. Hoe het ek dit interpreteer?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
        \n
      1. Hoe het ek myself begin sien op grond van my aannames?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
          \n
        1. Op watter ander maniere sou ek na die situasie kon kyk?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
            \n
          1. Is die betekenis wat ek daaraan geheg het en my gevolglike oordele oor myself moontlik vals?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
              \n
            1. Kan \u2018n ander blik op die gebeure my selfsiening verander?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              <\/h4>\n

               <\/p>\n

              \u2019n Spesifieke gebeurtenis kan nie van jou \u2019n slegte\/onaanvaarbare mens maak nie<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Vlug!<\/h4>\n

              Let op hoe jy voel wanneer jy tyd by ander deurbring. Soms besluit ons vriende wat ons sleg behandel is beter as geen vriende nie. Natuurlik het elke verhouding sy uitdagings, maar wees eerlik oor hoe jy werklik by iemand voel en hoe dit jou eiewaarde raak. As jy goor voel na elke kuier, laat vaar die vriendskap.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Liefde is \u2026<\/h4>\n

              \u2019n Swak selfbeeld lei baie keer tot liefdesverhoudings waar jy mishandel word \u2013 verbaal, fisiek, seksueel, ensovoorts. Ware liefde voel veilig en voedend. Dit word deur respek, sorg en teerheid gekenmerk. Geen mens verdien die \u201cstraf\u201d van mishandeling nie.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Jy het \u2019n s\u00ea<\/h4>\n

              Wanneer iemand jou sleg behandel, het jy \u2019n aandeel daaraan. As jy hulle gedrag aanvaar, gee jy hulle toestemming om daarmee voort te gaan \u2013 tot jy dit stopsit of die verhouding be\u00ebindig. Maak \u2019n lys van hoe jy hanteer wil word, soos: Dis nie aanvaarbaar om my te verkleineer nie. Dis nie aanvaarbaar om my elke keer te laat wag nie. Dis nie aanvaarbaar dat ek al die huiswerk moet doen nie. Sodra jy weet wat jou standaarde is, verstaan jy moeilike situasies beter en kan jy besluit hoe jy dit wil hanteer.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Verhoog jou lewenskwaliteit stap vir stap<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Stel jou grense<\/h4>\n

              Re\u00ebls op papier is nutteloos. Jou standaarde moet gekommunikeer word, byvoorbeeld: Ek sal nie meer toelaat dat iemand geld leen en dit nie terugbetaal nie (vriendin X). Kies \u2019n rustige tyd rig die versoek aan vriendin X op \u2019n respekvolle, hoflike maar ferm manier. Pleks van te kla dat julle altyd saans doen wat jou lewensmaat wil doen, s\u00ea; \u201cEk het \u2019n versoek. Kan ons beurte maak om te kies hoe ons ons aande deurbring? Kan ek een aand besluit en jy die volgende aand? Sou dit regverdig wees?\u201d<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Hou daarby<\/h4>\n

              Volhoubare veranderinge verg herhaling en dat jy sterk staan. Wanneer mense in ou patrone terugval, s\u00ea kalm en hoflik: \u201cOnthou jy ek het onlangs gevra dat jy nie jou vuil bekers voor die TV los nie? Sal jy asb. Onthou om hulle in die wasbak te sit? Dit sal baie vir my beteken.\u201d<\/p>\n

              Wanneer \u2019n moeilike situasie opduik, kan jy dit kalm hanteer. S\u00ea wat onaanvaarbaar is en heg \u2019n gevolg daaraan \u2013 maar nie \u2019n ultimatum nie: \u201cAs jy so met my praat, maak dit my seer. Dis nie aanvaarbaar nie. Tensy ons dit anders kan doen, gaan ek nie nou voort met die gesprek nie.\u201d Jy sal net ernstig opgeneem word as jy kalm bly en hou by die re\u00ebls wat jy neerl\u00ea. Moet nooit le\u00eb beloftes maak of die ander persoon dreig nie. Vra vir samewerking en as dit nie werk nie, moet jy heroorweeg of die verhouding jou goed doen. Dis \u2019n kwessie van wedersydse respek.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Maak dit mooi en lekker<\/h4>\n

              Indien jy grootgeword het met die gedagte dat jy jou sente moet omdraai, koop jy dalk altyd die goedkoper produk omdat dit die \u201cregte ding\u201d is om te doen. Neem jou voor om dit te verander en jouself te begin bederf. Dalk \u2019n bos blomme een keer per maand? Miskien die luukse seep wat soveel lekkerder ruik? Verhoog jou lewenskwaliteit stap vir stap. Kyk na jou omgewing en maak \u2019n lys van dinge wat jou energie steel; \u2019n verbleikte handdoek? \u2019n Deurmekaar kas? \u2019n Klaerige vriendin? Herstel elke week een ding. Vervang die handdoek, pak die kas reg, s\u00ea nee vir koffie met die vriendin. Met 52 verbeteringe per jaar sal jy ho\u00ebr verwagtinge ontwikkel – en vind dat die lewe saamspeel!<\/p>\n

              \u201cEmbrace your magnificence\u201d deur Fabienne Fredrickson (Hay House, 2014).<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

              Lees ook:\u00a0<\/strong>Kweek s\u00f3 respek<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              Kan jy jou eiewaarde \u2019n hupstoot gee? Verseker! Deur Mariette Snyman<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":161745,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[677,662],"tags":[34,2192,4291,4292],"class_list":["post-46866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspirasie","category-jou-lewe","tag-mariette-snyman","tag-selfbeeld","tag-selfaanvaarding","tag-eiewaarde"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHou meer van jouself | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kan jy jou eiewaarde \u2019n hupstoot gee? 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