{"id":169593,"date":"2026-10-22T14:12:41","date_gmt":"2026-10-22T12:12:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=169593"},"modified":"2026-10-22T14:12:41","modified_gmt":"2026-10-22T12:12:41","slug":"emosionele-afpersing-as-jy-werklik-lief-is-vir-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/emosionele-afpersing-as-jy-werklik-lief-is-vir-my\/","title":{"rendered":"Emosionele afpersing: &#8216;As jy werklik lief is vir my &#8230;&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\"><em>Deur Luisa van der Linde<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Jou maat, vriendin of kollega vra jou om iets te doen, maar hierdie versoek is onredelik en jy weier. Hy of sy plaas druk op jou. As dit &#8216;n gesonde verhouding is, sal die ander party dit aanvaar of saam met jou &#8216;n oplossing probeer vind. &#8216;n Emosionele afperser sal egter net meer druk toepas of jou met iets dreig.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\"><strong>Susan Forward<\/strong> gee die voorbeeld in haar boek <em>Fear Obligation Guilt<\/em> en skryf dat hierdie dreigemente direk of indirek kan wees en dat &#8216;n mens gewoonlik eers nie wil ingee nie, maar dit later maar doen omdat jy nie wil h\u00ea die persoon moet hul dreigemente deurvoer nie. Op die ou einde voldoen jy aan die eise en s\u00f3 word &#8216;n patroon gevorm waar jy leer dat dit makliker is om te doen wat gevra word.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof <strong>Jonathan Scholtz<\/strong>, &#8216;n kliniese sielkundige, s\u00ea hoewel die uiteindelike doel beheer oor iemand anders is, is daar tog graadverskille in die bedoeling, metodes en uiteindelike skade wat met emosionele afpersing, manipulasie en mishandeling plaasvind.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Die manipuleerder wil &#8216;n wanbalans in mag bewerkstellig sodat hy of sy mag, beheer, gunste en gawes of voordele kan bekom. Vir die emosionele afperser gaan dit daaroor om die slagoffer skuldig of ontsteld te laat voel, die sogenaamde vrees-verpligting-skuldgevoel-dinamiek.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\">Persoonlikheidsversteurings en manipulasie<\/h4>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Die gemiddelde mens besef nie dat <strong>persoonlikheidsversteurings<\/strong> baie meer algemeen voorkom as wat hulle dink nie,&#8221; s\u00ea prof Jonathan.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Een uit 200 mense in Amerika het byvoorbeeld &#8216;n <strong>narsistiese<\/strong> persoonlikheidsversteuring. Soveel as 4% het <strong>antisosiale<\/strong> persoonlikheidsversteuring (soortgelyk aan die ou begrip <strong>psigopatie<\/strong>). Prof Jonathan s\u00ea hierdie twee persoonlikheidsversteurings is die groot sondaars as dit by manipulasie, emosionele afpersing en emosionele sowel as fisieke mishandeling kom.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Die graad van erns is ook baie hoog in die gevalle sodat dit soms kriminele afmetings aanneem. In gevalle waar iemand vermoed hul manipuleerder het een van die versteurings moet hulle dit met &#8216;n kliniese sielkundige bespreek.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8216;n Manipuleerder verdraai feite en kan jok, blameer, wanvoorstellings maak, inligting weerhou of feite strategies deel om beheer of intellektuele meerderwaardigheid te verkry.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8216;n Manipuleerder is lief daarvoor om te oordryf of veralgemeen en wrede humor kan gebruik word om jou swak punte uit te lig en jou onseker te laat.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Die manipuleerder sal sy of haar slagoffer konstant veroordeel en net op hul &#8220;foute&#8221; fokus. Hulle sal jou laat voel of niks wat jy doen goed genoeg is nie.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Hulle is altyd die slagoffer en gebruik hul hulpeloosheid as &#8216;n verskoning om ander te kry om te doen wat hulle wil h\u00ea.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_169612\" style=\"width: 510px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-169612\" class=\"wp-image-169612 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/20261022-sasun-bughdaryan-F-0FGobDLb0-unsplash-500x333.jpg\" alt=\"Jy voel behoorlik soos 'n pion op 'n skaakbord en verkeer konstant duskant skaakmat. Kenners vertel wat emosionele afpersing behels. Foto: Sasun Bughdaryan, Unsplash\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-169612\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jy voel behoorlik soos &#8216;n pion op &#8216;n skaakbord en verkeer konstant duskant skaakmat. Foto: Sasun Bughdaryan, Unsplash<\/p><\/div>\n<h5><\/h5>\n<h5 class=\"_text_1hgab_2\"><strong>Manipuleerders kan ook ander met gedrag afpers deur<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">slagoffers uit hul gemaksone of bekende omgewing te probeer kry om die oorhand te h\u00ea.<\/li>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">passiewe aggressie soos stilstuipe te gebruik om die slagoffer verward en skuldig te laat voel.<\/li>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">intimiteit, finansies of besluitnemingsregte te weerhou.<\/li>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">kwaad te word as hul behoeftes nie onmiddellik bevredig word nie.<\/li>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">nie &#8220;nee&#8221; vir &#8216;n antwoord te aanvaar nie&#8230;. iemand anders die skuld vir hul eie verkeerde gedrag te gee, soos: &#8220;Ek is aggressief, want jy lok my uit.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">iets vir jou gee, maar iets in ruil verwag. Byvoorbeeld: &#8220;Ek het jou skuld uit die liefde van my hart betaal, maar nou moet jy &#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"_text_1hgab_2\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong class=\"_textBold_1hgab_145\">Kennis is mag<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea dis belangrik om soveel as moontlik kennis in te win. &#8220;Lees daaroor op en luister na potgooie. Praat met &#8216;n vriend of vriendin of &#8216;n objektiewe buitestaander. Gaan sien &#8216;n berader of sielkundige wat jou kan help om jou brein stadig maar seker te herprogrammeer om nuwe neurale bane neer te l\u00ea,&#8221; s\u00ea hy. &#8220;Met kundige raad en leiding kan jy jou reaksie op die manipulasie verander en die oormaat skadelike slegvoelhormone (soos kortisol) wat jy tydens interaksie met die manipuleerder afskei, monitor.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Suzanne s\u00ea as jy vermoed dat jy &#8216;n slagoffer van emosionele manipulasie is, het jy terapeutiese ingryping nodig. &#8220;Daar is nie noodwendig &#8216;n generiese antwoord of &#8216;n quick fix nie. Dit is noodsaaklik dat jy ingelig moet raak en insig moet ontwikkel in die mens wat jou misbruik, afpers of mishandel en so ook insig moet ontwikkel in jou eie interpersoonlike styl wat moontlik die manipuleerder se gedrag in stand hou of selfs bevorder.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"_text_1hgab_2\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong class=\"_textBold_1hgab_145\">Word jy gebreinspoel?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Voorligtingsielkundige <strong>Suzanne Gelderblom<\/strong> s\u00ea omdat die emosionele afpersing of manipulasie subtiel en sistematies is, word jy mettertyd gebreinspoel.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Jy begin naderhand anders te redeneer. Die verhouding word aan &#8216;n tipe mallemeule (<em>rollercoaster<\/em>) gekenmerk. As dit goed gaan, gaan dit besonder goed en dis omdat jy jouself gedra, maar as dit sleg gaan, word jy daarvoor blameer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea hy vind in sy praktyk dat dit vir slagoffers moeilik is om manipulasie te identifiseer omdat alle mense nie ewe emosioneel intelligent is nie.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Sommige mense is meer liggelowig as ander. Vir ander is dit te belangrik om in die spesifieke verhouding te wees, hulle hou hulself blind vir die realiteit. Wanneer die manipuleerder of afperser &#8216;n narsistiese of psigopatiese persoonlikheid het, is hulle baie goed met wat hulle doen, selfs klinici word soms deur hulle gemanipuleer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_169615\" style=\"width: 510px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-169615\" class=\"wp-image-169615 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/j-balla-photography-oMzfu2sXkrE-unsplash-500x333.jpg\" alt=\"Voorligtingsielkundige Suzanne Gelderblom s\u00ea omdat die emosionele afpersing of manipulasie subtiel en sistematies is, word jy mettertyd gebreinspoel. Foto: J Balla Photography, Unsplash\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-169615\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Voorligtingsielkundige Suzanne Gelderblom s\u00ea omdat die emosionele afpersing of manipulasie subtiel en sistematies is, word jy mettertyd gebreinspoel. Foto: J Balla Photography, Unsplash<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"_text_1hgab_2\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong class=\"_textBold_1hgab_145\">Maak jouself meer weerbaar<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea as jy vermoed jy word gemanipuleer, moet jy duidelike grense stel oor wat aanvaarbaar is en wat nie.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Ons begaan daagliks foute met die grense neerl\u00ea en is dikwels nie eens daarvan bewus nie. Kommunikeer direk en duidelik. Stel onomwonde dat jy weet jy word gemanipuleer en dat jy nie deel van die gesprek wil wees nie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Dit is belangrik om nie emosioneel te reageer nie. Gebruik logika en &#8216;n beheerste stemtoon en gesigsuitdrukking. Wees afgemete en konsekwent in jou mededelings en optrede teenoor die manipuleerder,&#8221; s\u00ea hy.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Hy s\u00ea by &#8216;n narsistiese manipuleerder moet jy soms &#8216;n rol speel asof jy &#8216;n akteur is. &#8220;Hulle teer op emosionaliteit. Jy kan n\u00e1 die tyd in die stort gaan huil, maar voor die manipuleerder moet jy sterk voorkom.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea vir baie slagoffers l\u00ea die wortel van hul probleem in hul gebrek aan eiewaarde.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Die meeste mense is daarvan bewus dat hulle &#8216;n swak selfbeeld of lae eiewaarde het, hoewel hulle dit nie altyd wil erken of prontuit s\u00ea nie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;As misbruik of manipulasie deur ander meer as een keer in iemand se geskiedenis voorkom, moet hulle professionele hulp soek om kwessies soos lae eiewaarde en afhanklikheidstrekke in hul persoonlikheid te hanteer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;As daardie tipe eienskappe voorkom, maak dit die manipuleerder se taak nog makliker. Die manipuleerder sal die persoon se afhanklikheid gebruik om hom of haar emosioneel aan hulle te bind in &#8216;n soort emosionele gevangenis wat jare kan aanhou.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_169613\" style=\"width: 510px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-169613\" class=\"wp-image-169613 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/20261022-elisa-stone-3sTawOCVwTQ-unsplash-500x333.jpg\" alt=\"Prof Jonathan s\u00ea as jy vermoed jy word gemanipuleer, moet jy duidelike grense stel oor wat aanvaarbaar is en wat nie. Foto: Elisa Stone, Unsplash\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-169613\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea as jy vermoed jy word gemanipuleer, moet jy duidelike grense stel. Foto: Elisa Stone, Unsplash<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"_text_1hgab_2\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong class=\"_textBold_1hgab_145\">Manipulasie of mishandeling?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Is dit moontlik om te weet wanneer emosionele manipulasie of afpersing na emosionele mishandeling oorskakel?<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Prof Jonathan s\u00ea omdat die een tipe afpersing soomloos in die volgende een kan oorgaan, is dit nie maklik vir die slagoffer om te besef wanneer professionele hulp ingewin moet word nie. &#8220;Nabye vriende of familie behoort in staat te wees om hul eie ongemak oor die situasie en blote gesonde verstand te kan gebruik. Tekens van depressie soos neerslagtigheid, huilerigheid, onttrekking, verswakte konsentrasie, slaapprobleme, te min eet of ooreet en negatiwiteit tree gewoonlik prominent na vore by gevalle van emosionele mishandeling. Die persoon mag ook angssimptome ontwikkel soos slaapprobleme, rusteloosheid, episodes van paniek, verhoogde sweetrespons, versnelde hartklop en vermeerdering in kompensatoriese gedrag soos skoonmaak of oefen.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Suzanne voeg by: &#8220;Wanneer jy in jouself begin twyfel, wanneer jy jouself isoleer en mense vermy, kan rooi ligte flikker. Jou vriende en familie kan aanmerkings maak en vra wat aangaan, of s\u00ea jy het &#8216;n karakter- en persoonlikheidsverandering ondergaan. Win veral professionele hulp in wanneer mense vir jou &#8216;n bedreiging raak of jy voel dis veiliger om jouself te isoleer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">Sy s\u00ea emosionele afpersing is wanneer iemand jou uitbuit, dreig of dwing om sy of haar wil of sin te kry. Die persoon wat afgepers word, doen dit dus teen hul sin, maar vrees die uitkoms as hulle weier.<\/p>\n<p class=\"_text_1hgab_2\">&#8220;Emosionele manipulasie is wanneer iemand emosioneel op jou gevoel speel om iets te doen. Die persoon speel op jou goedgunstigheid. Emosionele mishandeling is wanneer &#8216;n persoon beheer wil uitoefen deur &#8216;n verskuilde agenda. Hulle is geneig om jou met subtiele opmerkings persoonlik af te kraak. Dit is &#8216;n progressiewe en langtermynmanier van beheer waardeur die persoon jou in jouself laat twyfel, jou isoleer, jou intimideer en laat skuldig voel vir dinge wat geensins jou verantwoordelikheid is nie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lees ook:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/moenie-dat-trauma-jou-knak-nie\/\">Moenie dat trauma jou knak nie | rooi rose<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Deur Luisa van der Linde Jou maat, vriendin of kollega vra jou om iets te doen, maar hierdie versoek is onredelik en jy weier. Hy of sy plaas druk op jou. As dit &#8216;n gesonde verhouding is, sal die ander [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":169611,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43450,651,662,1],"tags":[98841,98842,98843,3308,71283,85593,98838,98839,98840],"class_list":["post-169593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-persoonlike-groei","category-verhoudings","category-jou-lewe","category-funksie-artikels","tag-antisosiaal","tag-suzanne-gelderblom","tag-nov-2022","tag-grense","tag-sielkundige","tag-narsisme","tag-susan-forward","tag-jonathan-scholtz","tag-persoonlikheidsversteurings"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Emosionele afpersing: &#039;As jy werklik lief is vir my ...&#039; | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jy voel behoorlik soos &#039;n pion op &#039;n skaakbord en verkeer konstant duskant skaakmat. 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