{"id":167804,"date":"2026-08-31T16:21:49","date_gmt":"2026-08-31T14:21:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=167804"},"modified":"2026-08-31T16:21:49","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T14:21:49","slug":"maak-n-onderhandelaar-groot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/maak-n-onderhandelaar-groot\/","title":{"rendered":"Maak ‘n onderhandelaar groot"},"content":{"rendered":"

Onderhandeling is \u2019n vaardigheid wat dikwels met raadskamers, die hof en kommersi\u00eble transaksies geassosieer word. Wat ouers egter nie besef nie, is dat hul kinders reeds onderhandelaars is tydens die mees vormende oomblikke van hul lewe \u2013 soos met slaaptyd, huiswerk, skermtyd en die eindelose gekibbel oor wie voor in die motor mag sit.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Volgens adv Veerash Srikison<\/strong>, \u2019n bemiddelaar en dosent in leierskap by die Stellenbosch Business School Executive Development<\/strong>, is onderhandeling nie \u2019n korporatiewe truuk wat \u2019n mens eers later in die lewe aanleer nie.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cOnderhandeling is \u2019n lewensvaardigheid, en soos enige lewensvaardigheid word dit die beste vroeg aangeleer en daagliks beoefen. Ek het al talle konflikte bemiddel en gesien hoe geskille vermy kon gewees het as die betrokke partye reeds as kinders geleer het om goed te onderhandel,\u201d s\u00ea adv Veerash.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Leer hulle vroeg-vroeg onderhandel<\/h4>\n

Tuis word kinders te dikwels as die voorwerp van \u2019n besluit behandel eerder as deelnemers daaraan; daar word oor hulle gepraat in plaas daarvan dat daar met hulle onderhandel word. Wanneer jy \u2019n bekwame onderhandelaar grootmaak, l\u00ea die verskil daarin of jy besluite <\/span>oor<\/span><\/i> jou kind neem en of jy besluite saam met hulle neem.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWanneer jy jou kind leer om te onderhandel, kweek jy nie bloot \u2019n skerper sakeman of onderhandelaar nie. Jy vorm \u2019n volwassene wat van mening kan verskil sonder om verhoudings te vernietig; wat na \u2019n ander siening kan luister sonder om bedreig te voel; en wat probleme met woorde kan oplos eerder as om mure tussen mense op te rig,\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Die Verenigde Nasies se Konvensie oor die Regte van die Kind en die Suid-Afrikaanse Wet op Kinders erken dat kinders die reg het om aangehoor te word in sake wat hulle raak, en dat daar gewig aan hul sienings geheg word na gelang van hul ouderdom, ontwikkelingsfase en volwassenheid.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dit beteken nie dat jy vir jou kind die sleutels tot die huishouding oorhandig nie, s\u00ea adv Veerash. \u201cWanneer jy na jou kind luister, leer jy hulle om te redeneer; en \u2019n kind wat leer redeneer, leer om te onderhandel eerder as om te eis. Wanneer jy onderhandeling aanmoedig, leer jy hulle om deel te neem eerder as om net te wil wen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Maak onderhandeling ‘n gewoonte<\/h4>\n

\u00a0Die daaglikse praktyk van onderhandeling berus op \u2019n paar gewoontes wat jy en jou kind saam kan beoefen. Een eenvoudige manier om te begin, is om jou kind te help om die verskil tussen \u2019n standpunt en \u2019n behoefte te verstaan. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wanneer jou kind daarop aandring om \u2019n uur later te gaan slaap, is die standpunt \u201c\u2019n later slaaptyd\u201d. Die onderliggende behoefte kan egter \u2019n vrees wees om iets mis te loop, of bloot \u2019n begeerte na meer tyd saam met jou. Sodra jy die behoefte verstaan, kan jy \u2019n werklike kompromie voorstel \u2013 soos \u2019n later slaaptyd oor naweke in ruil vir \u2019n rustige roetine gedurende die week. Sodoende leer jou kind dat goeie dinge kom daarvan wanneer ons verstaan wat iemand werklik nodig het.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adv Veerash s\u00ea dit is belangrik om aan kinders werklike, maar begrensde keuses te bied. Pleks daarvan om te vra: \u201cWat wil jy graag doen?\u201d, kan ouers vra: \u201cWil jy liewer jou huiswerk voor of n\u00e1 aandete doen?\u201d Albei antwoorde is vir die ouer aanvaarbaar, en dit stel die kind in staat om werklike selfbeskikking te ervaar terwyl hy leer dat onderhandeling binne bepaalde grense plaasvind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Sodra

Sodra jy die behoefte verstaan, kan jy \u2019n werklike kompromie voorstel. Foto: Pavel Danilyuk, Pexels<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOnthou om die redenasie te prys, nie net die resultaat nie. Wanneer jou kind \u2019n billike argument lewer, noem dit: \u2019Dis \u2019n goeie punt; jy het ook aan jou suster gedink.\u2019 Jy beloon juis vaardighede soos die vermo\u00eb om ander se perspektief te verstaan, billikheid en probleemoplossing \u2013 eienskappe wat van iemand \u2019n sterk onderhandelaar maak,\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Adv Veerash moedig ouers aan om vrae te vra voordat hulle argumenteer. \u201cDie meeste konflikte is eintlik misverstande, en \u2019n opregte vraag kan dit dikwels uit die weg ruim. Die beste ooreenkomste \u2013 soos enige ervare onderhandelaar jou sal vertel \u2013 is di\u00e9 waartoe mense self kom; \u2019n oplossing wat jou kind help uitwerk het, is dus een wat jou kind sal nakom,\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJy moet ook weet dat jou kinders jou baie nouer dophou as waarna hulle luister. Wanneer jy met respek en kalmte \u2013 en sonder minagting \u2013 in hul teenwoordigheid met hul ander ouer of jou lewensmaat onderhandel en tot \u2019n besluit kom wat vir julle albei werk, leer jy hulle meer as wat enige preek ooit sou kon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Maak jou kinders gereed vir die groter gesprekke<\/h4>\n

Die moeilikste onderhandelinge wat jy sal voer, gaan nie oor skermtyd nie. Dit is die moeilike gesprekke oor egskeiding, siekte, geld, rou of jou kind se eie worstelinge \u2013 en hier is kommunikasie baie belangriker as taktiek. \u201cEk het gesien watter skade aangerig word wanneer ouers \u2013 met die beste bedoelings om te beskerm \u2013 hul kinders uitsluit van gesprekke wat die kinders se hele w\u00eareld hervorm.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019n Kind wat van \u2019n moeilike gesprek uitgesluit word, voel nie beskerm nie. Hulle voel magteloos en vul die stilte met vrese wat veel erger as die werklikheid is,\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Om jou kind te betrek, beteken nie dat jy hulle met besonderhede vir volwassenes belas nie. Dit behels eerlikheid wat by hul ouderdom pas en met sorg oorgedra word. Ouers moet die regte oomblik kies om te gesels, eerder as om moeilike kwessies terloops aan te roer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Begin deur gerusstelling te bied: vertel vir die kinders wat onveranderd sal bly voordat jy verduidelik wat gaan verander. Duidelike, konkrete taal is belangrik, want kinders ervaar eufemismes as \u2019n manier om die waarheid te ontduik. Moedig vrae en die uiting van gevoelens aan, en weerstaan \u200b\u200bdie versoeking om elke probleem met \u2019n eensydige oplossing te wil regmaak. \u201cSoms is die kragtigste ding wat jy kan s\u00ea: \u2019Dis \u2019n moeilike gevoel, en ek is hier om na jou te luister,\u2019\u201d s\u00ea sy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Jy

Jy bou in die ware sin van die woord aan kommunikasie \u2013 dit wat samewerking en begrip kweek. Foto: Keira Burton, Pexels<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Luister meer as wat jy praat en weerspie\u00ebl dit wat jy hoor. S\u00ea byvoorbeeld: \u201cDit klink asof jy bekommerd is oor jou vriende by die skool,\u201d sodat jou kind weet dat hy verstaan \u200b\u200bword.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDit is dieselfde vaardigheid wat \u2019n ware onderhandelaar van iemand onderskei wat net wil stry: Jy is nie daar om die gesprek te wen nie, maar om ruimte te skep sodat die ander persoon gehoor kan word en om te help vorm wat daarna gebeur,\u201d s\u00ea sy. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJy bou in die ware sin van die woord aan kommunikasie \u2013 en kommunikasie is, soos ek al lank glo, dit wat samewerking en begrip kweek. Daardie les begin nie in \u2019n raadsaal nie. Dit begin by jou kombuistafel, by \u2019n kind aan wie \u2019n stem gegee is en wat geleer is om dit goed te gebruik.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lees ook: S\u00f3 maak jy jou tiener makliker groot<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Onderhandeling is \u2019n vaardigheid wat dikwels met raadskamers, die hof en kommersi\u00eble transaksies geassosieer word. Wat ouers egter nie besef nie, is dat hul kinders reeds onderhandelaars is tydens die mees vormende oomblikke van hul lewe \u2013 soos met slaaptyd, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":167809,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[679,662],"tags":[134,98227,98228,98229],"class_list":["post-167804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ouerskap","category-jou-lewe","tag-ouerskap","tag-veerash-srikison","tag-stellenbosch-business-school","tag-onderhandel"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMaak 'n onderhandelaar groot | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hoe om \u2019n onderhandelaar groot te maak lank voordat hulle die raadskamer binnestap\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link 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