{"id":102182,"date":"2018-10-16T15:50:55","date_gmt":"2018-10-16T13:50:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/?p=102182"},"modified":"2018-10-22T10:42:59","modified_gmt":"2018-10-22T08:42:59","slug":"jou-kind-en-die-dood-7-waarskuwingstekens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/jou-kind-en-die-dood-7-waarskuwingstekens\/","title":{"rendered":"Jou kind en die dood: 9 waarskuwingstekens"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Jou kind en die dood: 9 waarskuwingstekens deur Mariette Snyman. Hooffoto <a href=\"https:\/\/www.istockphoto.com\/za\/portfolio\/lovemelovemypic?mediatype=photography\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ovemelovemypic<\/a>\/istock images <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Di\u00e9 artikel sluit aan by ons artikel <em><a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/kinders-en-die-dood-wat-ouers-moet-weet\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jou kind en die dood: Wat ouers moet weet<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOns leef in \u2019n samelewing wat die dood ontken,\u201d s\u00ea <strong>Alta Bence<\/strong>, bestuurder van psigososiale steundienste by die <strong>CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation SA<\/strong>. \u201cVolwassenes weet dikwels nie hoe om hierdie onderwerp met kinders deur te praat of hoe om hul eie ervaring te verwoord nie. Kinders is fyn waarnemers en kom gou agter die onderwerp moet liewer nie aangeroer word nie. \u2019n Wedersydse &#8220;kontrak&#8221; om mekaar emosioneel te beskerm ontstaan, en die kind sowel as die volwassene vermy die onderwerp. Die kind worstel met talle onbeantwoorde vrae en met vrese wat nie aangespreek word nie. Dit isoleer \u2019n kind wat reeds swaarkry n\u00f3g meer.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Lees ook: <a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/verstaan-die-sterwensproses-dinge-wat-jy-dalk-nie-weet-nie\/\">Die sterwensproses: 13 dinge wat jy dalk nie geweet het nie<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>Waarskuwingstekens:<\/h4>\n<p>\u201cKyk uit vir die volgende rooi vlaggies wat wys \u2019n kind het dringend aandag nodig:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Gebrek aan sosiale steun<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Daar is nie \u2019n volwassene met wie die kind \u2019n vertrouensverhouding het of iemand anders wat deurentyd sinvolle steun verskaf nie.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Verlies-oorlading<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Soms verloor \u2019n kind meer as een geliefde gelyktydig, of binne \u2019n kort tydperk.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Sekond\u00eare verliese of gepaardgaande stressors<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kinders kan verskeie verliese saam met \u2019n geliefde se dood beleef. As \u2019n pa sy eie besigheid gehad het en sterf, verloor die gesin dalk hul inkomste en hul huis en moet die kinders op \u2019n ander plek skoolgaan. Of as \u2019n enkelma doodgaan, moet die kinders by verskillende gesinne gaan bly en is hulle nie meer saam in die huis nie. Dit kan spanning en onsekerheid op verskeie lewensgebiede skep.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Persoonlikheidsverandering<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Wees wakker wanneer \u2019n liefdevolle kind skielik kortaf raak of wanneer \u2019n kind gedrag toon wat nie in ooreenstemming is met sy of haar gebruiklike optrede nie. Dit kan byvoorbeeld gebeur dat \u2019n voorbeeldige kind se ouers deur die skool ingeroep word omdat hul kind in \u2019n geveg betrokke was; die kind druk psigiese pyn op \u2019n onaanvaarbare manier uit, en kort hulp. Agter woede skuil daar meestal \u2019n ander emosie soos vrees, angs, en hartseer, veral sover dit seuns betref. In ons gemeenskap mag mans nie huil of kwetsbaar voorkom nie, maar aggressie is aanvaarbaar. Iemand het ges\u00ea: <em>Boys don\u2019t cry tears, they cry bullets.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Kinders kan verskeie verliese saam met \u2019n geliefde se dood beleef<\/em><\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Verandering in sosiale gedrag<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Wanneer \u2019n uitgaande kind haar skielik aan die gesin en maats onttrek en haar in haar kamer toekokon, moet waarskuwingsligte flikker. Dit geld ook wanneer \u2019n stil kind oornag in \u2019n <em>party animal<\/em> verander.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Verandering in akademiese prestasie<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Dis nie net beduidend swakker uitslae wat kommer moet wek nie, maar wanneer \u2019n kind hom skielik in sy skoolwerk &#8220;begrawe&#8221; en ho\u00eb punte behaal, beteken dit nie alles is pluis nie.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Verandering in gesondheid<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Wees op die uitkyk vir skielike asma, diabetes, en so meer.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. Riskante optrede<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Gedrag soos die misbruik van alkohol of ander middels of onvanpaste seksuele gedrag is \u2019n hulpkreet om aandag. Dieselfde geld oormatige rebelsheid.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. Verwysings na selfmoord<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As \u2019n kind na selfmoord verwys of besittings begin uitdeel, is daadwerklike optrede nodig.<\/p>\n<p>Lees ook: <a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/selfdood-onder-kinders\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Selfdood onder kinders<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/rooirose\/lig-jou-kind-uit-depressie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lig jou kind uit depressie<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDie boek <em>Being Chris Hani\u2019s daughter<\/em> deur <strong>Lindiwe Hani<\/strong> en <strong>Melinda Ferguson<\/strong>\u00a0(Jacana Media, 2017) verbeeld die effek van onverwerkte trauma uistekend. Lees dit gerus as jy \u2019n kind wat rou beter wil verstaan.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>Hoe jy jou kind kan help:<\/h4>\n<p>Klop aan by \u2019n sielkundige of maatskaplike werker wat in di\u00e9 veld werk; by \u2019n pastorale terapeut wat spesialiseer in die proses van rou, soos ds. Braam Klopper &#8211; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.braamklopper.co.za\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.braamklopper.co.za<\/a>; by Family Life Centre met kantore landswyd \u2013 011 788 4784; bel The South African Depression and Anxiety Group, SADAG, se gratis hulplyn: <strong>011 234 4837, 8.00 tot 20.00 daagliks, <\/strong>of besoek <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sadag.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.sadag.org<\/a><\/p>\n<p>CHOC Childhood Cancer Association SA: 086 111 3500 of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.choc.org.za\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.choc.org.za<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jou kind en die dood: 9 waarskuwingstekens deur Mariette Snyman. Hooffoto ovemelovemypic\/istock images Di\u00e9 artikel sluit aan by ons artikel Jou kind en die dood: Wat ouers moet weet. &nbsp; \u201cOns leef in \u2019n samelewing wat die dood ontken,\u201d s\u00ea [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":102572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[679,662],"tags":[1519,4329,5684,23444],"class_list":["post-102182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ouerskap","category-jou-lewe","tag-rou","tag-dood","tag-trauma","tag-parenting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Jou kind en die dood: 9 waarskuwingstekens | rooi rose<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Soms lyk dit net of &#039;n kind &#039;n geliefde se dood goed hanteer. 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