{"id":44021,"date":"2024-12-10T09:07:23","date_gmt":"2024-12-10T07:07:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/peoplespost\/i-wouldnt-be-alive-today-if-i-didnt-walk-away-a-gbv-survivor-speaks-out-20241210\/"},"modified":"2025-03-19T23:15:36","modified_gmt":"2025-03-19T21:15:36","slug":"i-wouldnt-be-alive-today-if-i-didnt-walk-away-a-gbv-survivor-speaks-out-20241210","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/peoplespost\/i-wouldnt-be-alive-today-if-i-didnt-walk-away-a-gbv-survivor-speaks-out-20241210\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;I wouldn\u2019t be alive today if I didn\u2019t walk away&#8217;: A GBV survivor speaks out"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>A Cape Town mother shares her experience of surviving an abusive marriage.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>She highlights the lack of resources for GBV survivors, particularly shelters.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Her story is a call for greater support and action against GBV.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf I hadn\u2019t walked away, I don\u2019t think I would be alive. It would have ended badly.\u201d So explains a Cape Town mother of two \u2013 and gender-based violence (GBV) survivor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As the curtain comes down on the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign today (10 December), many women and children still live in fear with growing calls for more to be done to protect them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman, who does not wish to be named, said her marriage started great and she could never have imagined that she would become a victim of abuse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI grew up in Port Elizabeth and lived a comfortable life. Then I moved to Cape Town and met my husband. Everything was great as it always is with narcissists. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThen slowly but surely, he started isolating me, and then came the physical, mental, and emotional abuse. He made me believe that I deserve it. That carried on for five years. Eventually, my best friend and my parents stepped in because they wanted me to get away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-difficult\">Difficult<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>She explained that she then moved to a shelter that supports GBV survivors, where they helped her get a job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But she adds that getting out of the marriage was not that easy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t easy to get out. I had to start my life all over again. I was a housewife. When I left him the first time, I ended up going back to him for two years and then I decided I was done, and I walked away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHe didn\u2019t like me having friends. When I became friends with people and started sharing with them, I realised what I was going through was not normal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOne of the things he told me was that he refused to divorce me even though we were separated. He told me \u2018If I can\u2019t have you, no one can have you\u2019. He told me that if I got someone else, he would find him and kill him.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She said she could never have imagined how her life would turn out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI would read about these things and think \u2018How can they let that happen to them?\u2019 Until I landed in the same situation.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mother of two explains that this not only affected her but also their son. Her daughter was living with her parents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHe secluded me from my family. My son was emotionally scarred, luckily my daughter was raised by my parents.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-support-needed\">Support needed<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As a GBV survivor, she says more support is needed for women seeking help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThere is not enough being done. It\u2019s one of those subjects like depression, where people talk but no one steps in and does anything. Whether it be funding from government, they are so busy focussing on other things and they don\u2019t understand the repercussions, especially if there are children involved.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She also laments the lack of shelters for survivors. \u201cThey should have more places for women to go to. There are minimal places and the places that are there are full. What happens to all those other women?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The victim encourages women to seek help and to take charge of their lives again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt is hard but don\u2019t give up. You deserve better. Think about what you are teaching your children. Especially if you have daughters, you are showing them that they deserve those things because they see what you are going through. And you are teaching your son it\u2019s okay to do that, \u2018If mommy allows it to happen, then it\u2019s okay if I do that\u2019.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lucinda Evans, the founder of Philisa Abafazi Bethu, a non-profit organisation (NPO) working with abused women and vulnerable children in Lavender Hill, said politicians used GBV as a catchphrase in their memorandums and made promises during elections that have yet to materialise. \u201cThe 16 Days of activism campaign is a government tick-box exercise, and a waste of expenditure with glamorous politicians speaking about it. But in the translation to everyday life, 124 rapes are reported every day in this country.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Cape Town mother shares her experience of surviving an abusive 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