{"id":58597,"date":"2022-06-16T06:04:53","date_gmt":"2022-06-16T04:04:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/noordkaapbulletin\/jou-kind-is-nie-n-skouperd-20220614-2\/"},"modified":"2025-03-21T13:32:49","modified_gmt":"2025-03-21T11:32:49","slug":"jou-kind-is-nie-n-skouperd-20220614-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/noordkaapbulletin\/jou-kind-is-nie-n-skouperd-20220614-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Jou kind is nie \u2019n skouperd\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ouers wat hul kinders oorbeskerm en \u00e1lles vir hulle doen, doen hulle \u2019n groot onreg aan omdat hulle nooit leer dat hulle dinge self kan doen nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ansa Lange, stigter van Future Fit Parenting, wat ouer\u00adskapondersteuning bied, s\u00ea \u2019n kind kry s\u00f3 die boodskap dat jy nie vertroue in sy vermo\u00eb het nie of dat hy nie verantwoordelikheid hoef te aanvaar nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Di\u00e9 terapeut en lewensafrigter van Bloemfontein s\u00ea di\u00e9 kinders sukkel later in hul volwasse lewe om aan te pas omdat hulle geleer het alles word vir hulle gedoen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\u201cDie oomblik as jou kinders iets self kan doen, moet jy dit nie meer vir hulle doen nie, glad nie. Ouers se verantwoordelikheid is eintlik om hul kinders te leer om so gou as moontlik onafhanklik te wees \u2013 na my mening word jou sukses as ouer daaraan gekoppel.\u201d<\/div>\n
Ansa Lange<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

So s\u00ea Lange na aanleiding van \u2019n treffende pleidooi aan ouers van ene Elana Barke wat vroe\u00ebr op die Facebook-blad Studiemeester SA geplaas is. Dit handel oor alles wat ouers vir hul kinders doen en alles waaraan hulle die kinders laat deelneem, en laat die vraag ontstaan of hulle dit vir hulself of die kind doen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barke skryf sy was vir 13 jaar \u2019n onderwyseres en het twee seuns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In die skrywe vra sy onder meer dat mense ophou om hul kinders vir allerlei kompetisies in te skryf, ophou om hul skooltake te doen, ophou om hulle in handelsmerkklere te klee, ophou om duur temapartytjies te hou vir kleintjies wat nog nie kan praat nie, en ophou om hulle vir elke \u201cstimulerende\u201d aktiwiteit in te skryf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHou op om jou kind se skooltake te doen, die onderwysers giggel lekker vir jou vreemde taalgebruik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLos jou kind dat hy van die hond met die lang tande skryf in sy opstel, hy leer dan om homself uit te druk en dat sy gevoelens en opinies saak maak,\u201d skryf sy onder meer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sy s\u00ea kinders wil vuil raak en rondhardloop sonder om bekommerd te wees dat hulle hul duur klere beskadig en dit put hulle uit om aan elke aktiwiteit, waarvoor jy boonop \u201cdeur jou ore\u201d betaal, deel te neem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\u201cJou kind is nie \u2019n skouperdjie nie, ook nie \u2019n troeteldiertjie nie. Gesels, lag, raak vuil en wees net. Staan terug, haal asem en wees net.\u201d<\/div>\n
Elana Barke<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Lange s\u00ea ouers moet hulself afvra wat hul beweegrede is \u2013 doen hulle dit vir hulself of vir die kind? Sy s\u00ea ouers doen dikwels al di\u00e9 goed vir hul kinders uit \u2019n selfsugtige oogpunt, omdat dit hulle na goeie ouers laat lyk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sy s\u00ea talle kwessies wat mense as volwassenes beleef, het begin by ouers se goeie bedoelings en onkunde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOuers se taak is om hul kinders te help om hul tyd reg te bestuur, te prioritiseer en veerkragtig te wees en gesonde keuses uit te oefen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sy s\u00ea as ouers hul kinders se take doen, glo hulle nooit in hul eie vaardighede nie en ontwikkel nie \u2019n verwysingsraamwerk van wat vir hulle moontlik is nie. Dit spoel oor in hul volwasse lewe. Wanneer is die aktiwiteite te veel en die druk om te presteer te hoog?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs die kind se geestesgesondheid daaronder begin ly. Wanneer die kind simptome van angs begin toon en begin onttrek. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKinders wat te bang is vir hul ouers sal onttrek en di\u00e9 wat eiesinnig is, kan buitengewoon opstandig word.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sy s\u00ea ouers moet hul kinders leer dat hulle moet presteer en oefen in die mate waarop hulle op hulself sal trots wees. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hulle moet leer hul ouers sal dan trots wees omdat hulle op hulself trots is en volgens eie vermo\u00eb presteer. Anders word selfwaarde op eksterne goed gebou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJy moet jou kind, en jouself, nooit leer om identiteit op die hoogtepunte van die lewe te bou nie, want wie is jy dan in die laagtepunte<\/span>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ouers moet hul kinders leer om terug te bons in slegte tye, s\u00ea Lange.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDaar\u2019s \u2019n fyn lyn om jou kinders genoeg te ondersteun dat hulle genoeg in hulself glo om alleen te vlieg en nie altyd eerder op Mamma se rug saam te moet vlieg nie.\u201d \u2013 Marita Herselman<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ouers wat hul kinders oorbeskerm en \u00e1lles vir hulle doen, doen hulle \u2019n groot onreg aan omdat hulle nooit leer dat hulle dinge self kan doen 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kind is nie \u2019n skouperd\u2019 | Noordkaap Bulletin<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/noordkaapbulletin\/jou-kind-is-nie-n-skouperd-20220614-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u2018Jou kind is nie \u2019n skouperd\u2019\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ouers wat hul kinders oorbeskerm en \u00e1lles vir hulle doen, doen hulle \u2019n groot onreg aan omdat hulle nooit leer dat hulle dinge self kan doen nie.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/noordkaapbulletin\/jou-kind-is-nie-n-skouperd-20220614-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Noordkaap Bulletin\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/NoordkaapBulletin\/\" 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