{"id":67498,"date":"2025-11-27T12:38:42","date_gmt":"2025-11-27T10:38:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/kougaexpress\/?p=67498"},"modified":"2025-11-27T12:43:05","modified_gmt":"2025-11-27T10:43:05","slug":"veronica-vertel-ons-kinders-word-net-vir-ons-geleen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novanews.co.za\/kougaexpress\/veronica-vertel-ons-kinders-word-net-vir-ons-geleen\/","title":{"rendered":"VERONICA VERTEL | Ons kinders word net vir ons geleen"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>JEFFREYSBAAI &#8211;<\/strong> Jeffreysbaai en omstreke is in skok oor die dood van &#8216;n tweede seun van die Vosloo-gesin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Hoe kan die noodlot &#8216;n mens twee keer so tref,&#8221; het sy ma op Facebook geskryf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Om &#8216;n kind te verloor is seker die ergste ding wat met &#8216;n mens kan gebeur. Wat nog te s\u00ea van twee keer!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dis mos verkeerdom dat &#8216;n ouer &#8216;n kind moet begrawe. Dis teen die orde van die lewe. Om die kind se naam, wat die ouers so sorgvuldig gekies het, op &#8216;n grafsteen of elders te sien, is hartverskeurend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ons dogtertjie, Yolanda, was 22 maande oud toe sy in &#8216;n motorbotsing gesterf het aan &#8216;n skedelfraktuur. Dis al 36 jaar gelede. Die hartseer is steeds daar. &#8216;n Mens leer net om daarmee saam te leef. Daar is nie antwoorde op die talle vrae nie. Jy moet maar vir jouself &#8216;n bevredigende antwoord vind. Ek het gelees &#8216;n ander ouer s\u00ea dis &#8220;a lingering sadness&#8221; wat &#8216;n mens lewenslank bybly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Die droefheid, verdriet, rou, hartseer&#8230; Dis maar net grade van die diepe verlies van iemand wat deel was van jou DNA. Daar word mos ges\u00ea om kinders te h\u00ea is soos om jou hart buite jou liggaam te sien loop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dis so moeilik om te rou&#8230; &#8216;n Mens weet nie eintlik hoe nie. Jy leer dit n\u00earens nie. Mense weet ook nie hoe om te troos nie. Almal is maar onbeholpe. Daarby verskil elkeen se gevoelens en hantering van verlies: party wil mense en woorde om hulle h\u00ea, ander wil in stilte wees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ouers weet tog hulle kinders sal eendag die huis verlaat en hulle eie potjie krap. In Die Profeet deur Kahlil Gibran skryf hy oor kinders: &#8220;Julle kinders is nie julle kinders nie. Hulle kom deur julle maar nie van julle. En al is hulle by julle, behoort hulle nie aan julle nie. Die lewe beweeg nie agteruit nie. Julle is die bo\u00eb waaruit julle kinders soos lewende pyle geskiet word&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maar as ons kinders ons ontval, is dit &#8216;n bitter beker. My ondervinding is dat jy nie dan trooswoorde wil hoor nie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stadig met die blomme en kos wat afgelaai word. Ook met die oproepe. &#8216;n Liefdevolle teksboodskap of kaartjie is perfek. In di\u00e9 diepe donker tyd weet &#8216;n mens kwalik wat om jou aangaan, en doen net meganies wat van jou verwag word. Liefde is wat &#8216;n mens nou nodig het.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Meld jouself net aan vir hulp en &#8216;n skouer, en gaan sit net sommer met breiwerk of &#8216;n boek by die bedroefde ouer sonder om raad te gee. Gee die ouer eerder die ruimte om te praat&#8230; as hulle wil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dis egter maande later, ses maande of &#8216;n jaar en meer, dat jy wonder: onthou iemand my nog, onthou iemand nog my kind, weet iemand nog wat sy naam was? Dan is dit kosbaar as van die oorlede kind se maats by die ouers &#8216;n draai maak en van hulle herinneringe vertel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of vriendinne bel of stuur &#8216;n boodskap om te s\u00ea: &#8220;Ek onthou!&#8221; &#8216;n Ouer wil die kind se naam hoor, en weet hy is nie vergete nie. Dit geld sekerlik vir die verlies van enige geliefde.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Om &#8216;n kind te verloor is seker die ergste ding wat met &#8216;n mens kan gebeur. Dis mos verkeerdom dat &#8216;n ouer &#8216;n kind moet begrawe. 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