Sy vroetel senuweeagtig aan \u2019n sneesdoekie terwyl sy haar lewensverhaal van jare lange mishandeling vertel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJy weet, ek is sterk grootgemaak en ek het selfs \u2019n nagraadse kwalifikasie, maar \u2019n \u2018wolf in skaapklere\u2019 het my lewenslus, my ambisie en my liefde vir die lewe kom wegraap,\u201d vertel Chantel*.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chantel is \u2019n sakevrou van die Overberg; mooi en goed versorg, maar haar o\u00eb is hartseer en haar stem bewe terwyl sy oor haar man praat. \u201cEk wil vroue waarsku. Ons is grootgemaak om te trou en kinders te kry. Ons is grootgemaak om onderdanig te wees; ons is grootgemaak om ons mans gelukkig te hou \u2013 ten koste van onsself. Ek is nou al 30 jaar getroud en lei \u2019n dubbele lewe \u2013 een van \u2019n suksesvolle sakevrou en die ander as \u2019n onderdanige vrou wat emosioneel mishandel word\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haar verhaal stem ooreen met di\u00e9 van duisende vroue wat ook elke dag onder emosionele geweld deurloop. Dit vertel die storie van \u2019n vrou wat n\u00e1 haar universiteitsloopbaan halsoorkop verlief geraak het op \u2019n man wat haar soos \u2019n prinses laat voel het, wat haar die maan en sterre beloof het en haar ridder op die wit perd was. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEk was absoluut mal oor hom. Ons het by \u2019n werkgeselligheid ontmoet. Hy het my voete behoorlik onder my uitgeslaan en ek het gedink hy\u2019s die een. N\u00e1 ons troue het dinge stelselmatig verander. Hy het begin fout soek met my familie en vriende. Ek moes later verslag gee oor almal wat ek by die werk sien en met wie ek praat. Ek is ook later verbied om by die gimnasium te gaan oefen en ons boekklub by te woon. Hy het my stelselmatig van almal vervreem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00e1 die geboorte van hul eersteling het dinge erger geword en kon sy nie eens haar ma se hulp inroep om haar n\u00e1 die geboorte te ondersteun nie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHy het ges\u00ea ek is \u2019n vrou en ek moet net regkom. Dit was harde tye, maar ek het my gebedsvriende gehad wat my ondersteun het. Ek het daardeur gekom en met ons tweede kind se geboorte het ek geweet wat van my verwag word en net aangegaan. As sy slaap, het ek geslaap, ek was voorbereid\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Volgens haar was sy vir lank in \u2019n donker gat en het sy gevoel sy kan nie daaruit kom nie. \u201cEk was finansieel afhanklik van hom en hy het dit geweet, maar waarmee hy nie rekening gehou het nie, is die feit dat gebed kragtig is, en as jy vriende het wat saam met jou bid, kan die Here jou omstandighede verander. Die Here het my deur die tyd gedra en daar was lig aan die einde van die tonnel. Elke lelike woord wat hy my toegesnou het, het my net sterker gemaak, en dit het hom ondergekry. Ek het begin lag as hy my slegs\u00ea en \u2019n grap van alles gemaak.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sy het \u2019n paar jaar gelede n\u00e1 haar pa se dood geld ge\u00ebrf en dit glad nie met haar man gedeel nie. \u201cDit was \u2019n besluit wat ek geneem het \u2013 nie net ter wille van myself nie, maar ook ter wille van my kinders en kleinkinders. Ek het \u2019n besigheid begin en die (res van die) geld bel\u00ea. Niemand weet ek is die eienaar van die besigheid nie. Hulle dink ek bestuur die plek. Volgens my man kry ek \u2019n karige salaris, wat ek in elk geval vir hom gee. Hy is onder die indruk dat ek steeds afhanklik is van hom. Die gevoel gee my mag en baie meer selfvertroue. Ek gee meer aandag aan myself en lewe vir my kinders en kleinkinders.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Op \u2019n vraag of sy ooit haar man sal verlaat, antwoord sy hartseer: \u201cEk het al baie daaraan gedink, maar dan dink ek aan my kinders en kleinkinders. Die kleinkinders verafgod hul oupa en ek weet ek gaan hulle skade aandoen. Ek is op \u2019n goeie plek in my lewe. Ek het dit my plig geag om my seun groot te maak om sy vrou te respekteer, om die leier in die huis te wees en sy vrou eendag beter vir Jesus terug te gee as wat hy haar ontvang het. Ek en my skoondogter het so \u2019n goeie verhouding en ek is dankbaar vir die kinders in my lewe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die raad wat Chantal vir ander vroue het \u2013 hetsy jy ongetroud of self in so \u2019n verhouding is \u2013 is om vir jou \u2019n ondersteuningsnetwerk op te bou. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDaardie s\u00eading van \u2018liefde is blind\u2019, is die waarheid. Jy luister nie na ander se raad nie, jy volg in elk geval jou eie kop. En as jy in die situasie is en dan nie kan uit nie, maak jouself sterk. Jy is \u2019n vrou. God het jou gemaak, en God maak nie mislukkings nie. Wees sterk, wees vasberade en hou jou o\u00eb gevestig op die Saligmaker.\u201d * Chantal is \u2019n skuilnaam<\/i>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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